Wannabe Wizards
by The Snazzy Hat
Summary: In this story, two fans of the anime get exactly what they wish for. But soon they find themselves way in over their heads, and even the slightest slip up could cause something catastrophic to happen, or worse. Just a shameless fun self insert with a friend of mine into the world of Fiorie. Rated T for Jason's political incorrectness and my terrible overuse of select English words.
1. Chapter 1

"So are you completely sure it'll work?" Lewis asked, reading the lines of the spellbook the two friends had found.

"Mostly. I mean look at that shit!" Jason almost shouted, pointing at the guild symbol. "That's obviously the Fairy Tail Guild symbol!"

"Well, it can't hurt to try." Lewis shrugged. The two friends began to read the spell aloud. A spark arced across the pages of the book before forming into a ball which expanded, encompassing the two friends. Then the ball disappeared, taking the two wannabe wizards with it.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Earlier that day.

Two friends were seen hanging out in the local library, discussing anime they both liked until they eventually reached the topic of Fairy Tail.

"And that's why you don't piss off the fire wizard." Lewis finished, taking a sip from his bottle of iced tea and shifting the black and yellow tartan scarf around his neck.

"Yeah, Fairy Tail is pretty damn cool." Jason said, idly scratching his afro. "I wonder what would happen if we were wizards in Fairy Tail."

"We would be the worst wizards in the guild." Lewis said blankly.

"But we would be the best comic relief!" he countered, raising a finger into the air.

"You would be the first to start a riot in the guild." Lewis said.

"You know, wouldn't it be hilarious if some magical McGuffin were to drop out of the sky that had the power to teleport us to Earthland." Jason said, a grin on his face.

"Seriously? Look, this isn't Death Note where magical books just drop out of the sky." Lewis said.

And then one did.

A large hardcover book landed with an alarmingly loud thump on the table. Its front was covered in old and arcane looking writing.

"Ha! Suck it universe, you just gave me what I wanted!" Jason shouted, drawing the attention of a few people in the library.

"My brain is hurting from the stupidity of it all." Lewis said, his head buried in his hands.

Jason picked up the book and flipped through the pages. "Hey look, this book can send us to Earthland! What a surprise!"

Lewis looked at the book from across the table. "So are you completely sure this'll work?"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Erza was taking a walk along one of the rivers that bordered Magnolia. She had just stopped another fight back at the guild and felt she needed to take in a little fresh air. She looked out across the river and watched the ripples for a while and let herself fall into an air of calm.

Then a thunderbolt struck the ground behind her and she fell in the river.

Lewis and Jason stumbled around, ears ringing and half blinded. Lewis fell to the ground, the book absent from his groping hands.

"Ha! You said groping." Jason giggled.

"Remind me never to let you touch magical artifacts again!" Lewis shouted.

"What?!"

"Never let me let you touch magic artifacts!"

"What?!"

"Never mind!" Lewis shouted, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. At least he still had his scarf with him. His black pants had gotten a little dusty and his white shirt was now a slight shade of brown, but other than that he was fine. "Jason, I think your afro is burning."

"What?" Jason asked, looking up to see his proud afro now slightly on fire. "Gah!"

Jason lunged towards the river and plunged his head under the water. He opened his eyes underwater and saw a very close, very angry looking face. Jason suddenly lifted his head above the water and turned to Lewis.

"What is it?" Lewis asked.

"Run!" Was all Jason shouted before a very angry Erza broke the surface of the water. Reaching out, she wrapped her hand around Jason's leg and threw him directly at Lewis.

"Hmph. I expected more of a challenge from a pair of assassins." Erza said, scowling.

"We're not assassins!" shouted Lewis, raising a hand in objection with his face still maintaining firm contact with the dirt.

"Then who are you?" she asked.

Lewis and Jason got up and dusted themselves off before turning to Erza.

"My name is Lewis. It's nice to meet you." Lewis said.

"I am the one known as Jason!" Jason shouted loudly, earning a facepalm from Lewis and an odd look from Erza.

"You two don't look like you're from around here." Erza said.

"Well, it's pretty safe to say that we aren't." Lewis said, searching around a small shrub. "By the way, have you seen any books around here?"

"No, I can't say I have." Erza said.

"Damn, I where could it have gone?" Lewis asked, scratching his head. Jason on the other had was keen on asking Erza as many questions as possible.

"Can we join Fairy Tail?"

"That's not for me to say."

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"Can we join Fairy Tail?"

"Didn't you already ask that?"

"Can you teach me Requip magic?"

"I have other things to do."

"Jason, stop trying to piss off the absurdly powerful mage!" Lewis shouted, before searching for the book again. "I swear, the one time a magic book drops out of the sky it almost kills us and then disappears!"

"What did it look like?" Erza asked.

"It was a big leather bound book with purple glowing writing around it. Oh yeah, and it had the Fairy Tail guild symbol on it." Lewis said before peering into a hollow tree trunk. "Hold on, I think I see something!"

Jason and Erza moved over to where Lewis was searching. After a few minutes of pained reaching and grasping, he finally got a handle on the thing in the tree hollow. As he pulled it out, he saw that it was a very old and musty looking tome. Flipping it open, he started reading it.

"Hey, are let me have a look." Jason said, reaching for the book. Lewis jerked the book away from his friend's hands.

"Hey! Remember what I said about not letting you touch ancient magical artefacts!" Lewis growled.

"Not really, I was pretty disorientated from the last ancient magical thingy I touched." Jason shrugged.

"My point exactly!"

Erza looked at the two squabbling boys before shrugging and turning away. She had to talk to Makarov about this.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Fairy Tail was just as loud and filled with cheer as when Erza had left it. Cana was drinking, Natsu and Gray were still fighting and the general scene was just chaotic. Erza weaved her way through the throng, trying to find Master Makarov who was sitting on the bar, talking with Mira.

"Master Makarov, I need to speak with you!" Erza shouted over the din as she walked to the bar.

"Ah, Erza there you are. How did your walk go?" he asked, grinning behind his moustache.

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about." She said.

"You didn't get into a fight, did you?" Makarov asked, his eyebrows lowering.

"I ran into two boys who seemed to know me. I'm not quite sure how they did, but they appeared in a bolt of lightning which knocked me into the river. One of them asked if they could join Fairy Tail." She reported. "They were dressed very strangely and didn't talk in the same way we do."

Makarov scratched his chin in thought. "Well they sound like a bunch of odd customers. Why don't you bring them in?" he asked.

"I'll see if I can find them." She said.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

"Jason."

"Yes Lewis?"

"You know how there were only something like five locations in Magnolia we have actually seen, right?"

"Yeah."

"So what makes you think we'll be able to find Fairy Tail?"

"I dunno. Look around until we can hear fighting?"

Lewis sighed exasperatedly as he fingered through his new book. "A good a plan as any."

Jason grinned with victory as he and Lewis walked through the cobbled streets next to the river. Lewis was reading through the book, frustrated that many of the pages in the book appeared to be meaningless to him or otherwise blank.

"Great, I have incredible luck in finding this book, but I can't read a single word of it!" He groaned, snapping the book shut. "It's either all gibberish or in another language or something!"

"Hey, maybe someone at Fairy Tail can help you." Jason said.

"Why are you so eager to join up with a guild anyway?" Lewis asked. "We don't have to have to join a guild. If you want to do magic you can probably just buy something."

"One, I want to fight stuff. Two, I want to meet Natsu. Three, we have no money." Jason explained. "The guild will have beds, jobs and shit like that, so there's no reason not to go there."

Lewis thought for a while before nodding. "You've got some very undeniable points there."

Lewis and Jason kept walking around the town until the sun started to dip in the sky, turning the water and sky a vibrant orange hue. Lewis was still reading the book he found until he eventually read something he understood.

"Hey Jason, I think I've found something!" he said excitedly, moving his finger over the unfamiliar words. "I think this translates into conjuring fire."

"Wait, how do you know that?" Jason asked, leaning over to see.

"There's a picture of fire right next to it." Lewis said, pointing to the picture. "I wonder what happens if I…"

A light blue magic circle emanated from the book while a red one appeared in Lewis' free hand, causing him to gasp. A small ball of fire appeared in his hand and he stared at it, fascinated. Then it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

"Oh my god I did magic!" Lewis squeaked, a giant smile spreading across his face.

"Didn't last long." Jason snorted.

"Guess I don't have that much control over it yet." Lewis said, shaking his fingers as pins and needles worked their way through them.

"Damn it, you get to use the magic you made up! When am I going to find my magical McGuffin?!" Jason roared, attracting the attention of several passers-by.

"Oh, you lost something? You should put up a notice at the Guild Hall. They might be able to find it for you." One of the people said as they walked by.

"Thanks for the tip." Jason deadpanned.

"Speaking of which, could you tell us where it is?" Lewis asked.

"It's just up the road from here. Take the first left on the next street and it should be in plain sight." He replied.

"Okay, thanks!" Lewis said before turning to Jason. "Why didn't we ask for directions sooner?"

Jason shrugged before the two continued onwards until they rounded the corner on the street and Lewis immediately felt something metal impact with his face and he crumpled to the ground.

"Oh hey, it's Erza!" Jason said.

"Well, I'm glad I found you two again." Erza said, picking up both Jason and the dazed Lewis before turning around and hauling them back to Fairy Tail. "You two have a little explaining to do."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis and Jason had just finished explaining the events that led up to them arriving in Fairy Tail to Makarov, who stroked his bristling moustache. They had made sure not to let on that they knew anyone or anything that would make them seem too out of the ordinary.

"Well I'll tell you young'uns on thing, I've never heard about something like that happening. A parallel dimension, fancy that…" he mused.

"Should we present this information to the Magic Council?" Erza asked.

"Of course we should, but maybe at a later time. We have other important matters to attend to after all." Makarov shrugged. "For example, these two young'uns. You kids say you don't have anywhere to stay?"

"Nope, unless this book I found can conjure a tent or something." Lewis said, holding up the tome.

"Let me see that." Makarov said, holding out his hand. Not wanting to argue with one of the Ten Wizard Saints, Lewis handed it over to the elderly man. Makarov leafed through it, his expression changing on each page he saw.

"What is it?" Jason asked.

"It seems like this is some kind of highly advanced spell book. Normal spell books are magical books that allow the user to practice Tome Magic, a kind of magic that allows you to cast several different types of magic, but it's not nearly as strong as a dedicated mage's magic. This is because the book copies magic circles that are imprinted in it and allows the mage using the book to wield these spells. This book however seems to be different." Makarov explained.

"How so?" Erza asked.

"This book in particular seems to have a lot more stored magic energy than other spell books, and plenty more spells written in it, although it appears that many of the pages detailing advanced spells have been sealed to protect its user. Only by increasing one's magical prowess to a high enough level can enable them to see the spells, let alone use them."

"So I won't be able to cast big powerful spells yet?" Lewis asked.

"Not even close. I doubt you have enough magic energy to make a small fireball and even then, it'd be the book doing all the work." Makarov snorted.

Jason and Lewis looked at each other uneasily. "Does this mean we won't be able to join Fairy Tail?" Jason asked.

"I never said that." Makarov grinned. "It's clear you kids will need somewhere to stay, otherwise who knows the amount of trouble you'll get yourselves into. So yes, I will let you join."

"Yes!" Lewis celebrated.

"On one condition." He said.

"Damn it, there's always a condition." Lewis groaned.

"What do we have to do?" Jason asked.

"If you can do a job from the Request Board, you'll earn your place in Fairy Tail." Makarov said. "And if you need any help, I'm sure Erza can point you in the right direction."

Jason immediately put his hand up to ask a question. "Is there anything called Alchemy Magic?" Jason asked.

"There is a potion maker's shop if that's what you mean. You might learn something from him." Erza shrugged.

"Score! See you later Lewis!" Jason cheered before rushing straight out of the guild, looking for the alchemist's shop.

Lewis just stared at where Jason was before turning to Makarov. "So, where should we stay in the meantime?"

"I think there might be some empty beds here in Fairy Tail that you kids could use for a few nights." Makarov said. "But before that, maybe you should practice with your magic some more."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Jason had been running through the entire town, looking for the alchemist's shop. When he eventually found it, he noticed that the entire place had been boarded up.

"What? Ah come on!" Jason shouted. He remembered the episode where Juvia bought that faulty potion and plunged Fairy Tail into even more chaos than usual. "Guess I'll have to sneak in."

Jason stepped back a few metres before breaking into a sprint right towards a lightly boarded window before jumping through it, splintering the wood and shattering the glass. Getting up and dusting himself off, he started searching around the abandoned shop. There were several jars of various ingredients, mushrooms and dried lizards along with a leather bandolier filled with glass bottles.

"That should be useful." Jason said before grabbing a nearby hessian sack and sliding in the jars and putting on the bandolier. He spied a mortar and pestle, several glass alembics and boiling jars before sliding them into a different bag, a satchel he picked up.

Satisfied that he had found everything he wanted, Jason leapt through the window again before running for Fairy Tail, wondering what Lewis had gotten up to.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis was sitting on the steps in front of the guild hall with his spell book in one hand, a small ball of fire in the other and a determined expression on his face. He felt a hand clap him hard on the shoulder and he almost leapt off the stairs in shock.

"Hey! Are you new here?" asked a familiar voice.

Lewis turned around and stared into the face of one of the most reckless members of Fairy Tail, Natsu Dragneel.

"Uh, yeah. My name's Lewis." He said, shaking Natsu's hand. "While I'm not a real member yet, if I can do a mission on the Request Board then Makarov might let me join."

"Hey, that sounds pretty great!" Natsu laughed, sitting next to Lewis. "So are you a fire magic user?"

"Not really." Lewis said, snapping the book shut. "I found this advanced spell book that can allow me to practice Tome Magic. It allows me to cast several different types of magic."

"That sounds cool." Natsu said. "So you can make fire right? Care to show me?"

"Alright." Lewis said. Opening the book to the fireball page, he concentrated and clawed his right hand, feeling the red magic circle form inside his clawed hand. "Flameburst!"

A small spout of fire erupted from Lewis hand before arcing straight towards Natsu's mouth as he swallowed it.

Natsu gulped and burped appreciatively before clapping Lewis on the back. "Thanks! I needed a little snack. Though you might wanna make those flames stronger for next time alright?"

"Yeah, sure." Lewis said before he saw Jason come around a street corner towards them with his hessian bag of looted potion gear. As soon as he saw the pink haired fire wizard, he almost dropped the bag.

"Oh my god it's Natsu!"

"Hey, another one! Welcome to Fairy Tail!" waved Natsu. "So you've heard of me before?"

"You could say that." Lewis said quickly, closing his book. "Natsu, this is Jason. My friend and all around lunatic."

"Damn it, I wanted to talk to Natsu first!" shouted Jason.

"Hey, you wanted to go find that potion shop!" Lewis snapped. "What's in that bag anyway?"

"Oh, it's just some stuff I looted from an abandoned potion shop." Jason shrugged, lifting the bag.

"You STOLE it?!" Lewis shouted, grabbing Jason by the shoulders and shaking him like a sack of potatoes. "Do you realise how many different flavours of stupid that is?!"

"It's not stealing, it's looting! There wasn't anyone around to see anyway!"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Lewis roared. "Not one day here and you're already going to put us in jail!"

"Hey man, lighten up. Stuff like this happens all the time in Fairy Tail, so don't sweat it." Natsu said, trying to pry Lewis from Jason. "Jeez, you kinda remind me of Lucy when she's all uptight and stuff."

Eventually Lewis calmed down and returned to his book while Jason took out a mortar and pestle and began to make some potions.

"How do you know what to do?" Lewis asked. "Didn't you just get that today?"

"Hell if I know, I'm just making up shit as I go along!" Jason chuckled.

"Of course you are." Lewis groaned, flipping through his book.

"So is there any progress with your book?" Jason asked.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it now. I've been able to read two more spells, but I haven't been able to test them yet." Lewis shrugged.

"Oh yeah? What are they?" Natsu asked.

"Some kind of ice arrow and Requipping. The only problem is I have no weapon to requip." Lewis said, moving his finger over the pages.

"So you can do Gray and Erza's magic?" Natsu asked excitedly. "Man, that's so cool!"

"Well I haven't tried it yet so I have no idea if I can actually cast the spell or not." Lewis said, scratching the back of his head.

"Why don't you try it?" Jason asked. "I mean you should probably test these spells out right?"

"Maybe. I'll give it a shot." Lewis said, getting up from the stairs. As he concentrated on his arrow spell, a light blue magic circle appeared in his right hand before he aimed it skyward. "Ice Make: Arrow!"

A large arrow of crystalized ice shot skyward, glistening in the starlight. Lewis stared after it in awe, while Jason was slightly less impressed.

"Hey, isn't that coming back down at us?" he asked.

"Holy crap it is!" Lewis shouted, trying to get out of the way as the ice arrow started to fall back towards the ground at alarming speed.

"Fire Dragon Roar!" shouted Natsu, a giant gout of flame engulfing the ice arrow and turning it to nothingness. "There ya go! That was a close one."

Lewis slumped down onto the stone road. "Mental note: aim at a target next time."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The next day, Jason and Lewis were standing in front of the Request Board under the watchful eye of Erza. Jason had given Lewis his satchel bag so he could store his tome in while he wasn't using it and Jason was wearing his bandolier filled with bottles and flasks of different coloured bright liquids.

"Maybe something not too far away?" Lewis suggested. "After all, we don't have any money for a train ticket."

"Yeah, but there's nothing really close by that will pay enough to get us a place to stay." Jason sighed, looking through the requests.

"Though I doubt the train station is going to let us use IOUs to get train tickets." Lewis grumbled.

"Not to worry, I will be buying train tickets for you." Erza said. "Master Makarov has assigned me to make sure you two don't get into any unnecessary trouble as well as to monitor your progress. As such I will be coming with you."

Jason pulled Lewis into a whisper. "Wait a minute, if Erza's coming with us then pretty much any problem we try to solve will pretty much fix itself. I mean, if we go after bandits then they'll take one look at Erza and run away."

"While I understand your concerns that you might not get any action, be sure that I have a solution for this. I won't intervene in your missions unless I deem it absolutely necessary." Erza said. "That said, any attempt to get me to do this mission for you and attempting to steal the credit will result in you two boys being swiftly punished. Do I make myself clear?"

Lewis and Jason both felt hairs rise on the back of their necks and they nodded wildly.

"Crystal clear ma'am!"

"Of course we understand!"

"Good. Now how about this one?" Erza asked, pointing to a specific poster.

Lewis glanced at it and took it off the board. "Find and return some lost jewellery from a cavern? That seems within our ability range."

"And it looks like it pays pretty well." Jason added, pointing out the reward. "Thirty thousand Jewels doesn't sound too bad for a first job!"

Erza took the poster and nodded. "Alright, it's settled then. We're going to the Clover Caverns."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis and Jason were waiting at the train station, provisions packed for them by Mirajane in their bags. They were sitting on a bench while they waited for Erza to arrive with what would surely be a small mountain of luggage.

"Hey Lewis, I need to ask you something." Jason said suddenly.

"What is it?"

"When did you learn Japanese so quickly? You've been speaking it ever since we arrived here." Jason said.

Lewis raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked at his friend. "What are you talking about? We're both speaking English."

"No we're not you idiot!"

Lewis tried to figure out what was going on until it finally clicked. Lewis slammed his hand into his forehead in frustration and annoyance.

"God damn it Jason, you always did prefer subbed didn't you?" Lewis groaned. "So that's why you never complained about people's voices."

"Hey, not my fault you're a dubfag." Jason teased.

"Say that again damn you!" Lewis shouted, getting up from his seat.

Lewis heard a forced cough behind him and immediately froze while Jason wore and extremely amused expression.

"Lewis, what are you doing?" Erza asked.

"N-nothing ma'am!" Lewis said quickly, sitting down as fast as he could.

"Good. I don't want you two turning into another Natsu and Gray pair. Goodness knows I already have enough to deal with when they're around." Erza said. "Now, shall we depart?"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Clover Caverns is a small cluster of cave systems located not that far outside of the town of Clover. It once held a great source of minerals which has dried up over many years, and now remains completely empty. At least, that's what the townspeople say. Lewis, Jason and Erza were walking through the dark caverns, each holding a lit torch.

"So what were we looking for again?" Jason asked.

"A silver necklace in the shape of a heart inlaid with a large blue lacrima. The client lost it while exploring the caverns in search of more minerals." Lewis said. "Wasn't it just five minutes ago that we went over this?"

"It was actually three." Erza said stiffly. "I would suggest you two keep your wits about you. These caverns may have been proclaimed officially empty, but that was quite a few years ago. I would imagine that something could have moved into these caves in that time."

At that moment, a small stream of dust and rubble drifted from the ceiling and a slight rumbling sound was heard.

"Jason…" Lewis said nervously, a hand going to the spine of his book.

"Yeah?" Jason said, taking a conical bottle out from his bandolier.

"We definitely aren't alone here are we?" Lewis asked.

"Most likely not."

Erza glanced upwards just in time to see a large crack in the roof of the cavern.

"Look out!" she shouted, roughly pushing the two boys out of the way of the falling pile of rocks before it crashed onto the ground. Lewis scrambled to his feet and looked back at the solid wall of rock that had fallen, separating Lewis and Jason from Erza.

"Erza!" Lewis shouted, trying to dig away the rock wall. "Are you alright?! Erza!"

"I'm fine!" shouted Erza. "Are you two okay?"

Jason groaned as he got up, checking that none of his potions had smashed. Thankfully none of them had broken and he turned to face the rock wall. "That's bad."

"Understatement of the year." Lewis grumbled, trying to force the uncooperative rocks. "Damn, I can't even get one of these things loose!"

"Allow me." Jason grinned, cracking his knuckles before taking the cork out from his bottle and draining the red liquid. As soon as he drank it, a glowing red magic circle flashed inn front of his entire body before fading into it. "I cooked up this strength potion last night, I'll get through this like it was paper!"

Lewis stepped out of the way of Jason and he tensed his arm muscles before taking a swing at the rock wall. On the other side of the wall, Erza heard a soft thud and a lot of muffled swearing.

"God fucking damn it that hurts like a bitch!" Jason roared, waving his now glowing hand red up and down.

"You hit it already? I barely even saw that." Lewis said, scratching his head. "Did you get your potions mixed up?"

"What are you talking about?" Jason asked irritably, blowing on his fist.

"I could barely see your punch. I think that you made some kind of speed potion by accident." Lewis said.

"Well that's useful!" Jason groaned sarcastically.

"Any idea how long it'll last?" Lewis asked, picking up his fallen torch.

"I'd guess five minutes." Jason said, testing his muscles.

"Then we'll have to find that necklace in that time frame. We shouldn't waste your potion's effect." Lewis said before pressing himself against the fallen wall. "Erza! We're going to find the necklace! Can you clear these rocks in that time?"

"I'll do my best! Stay safe you two!" Erza replied.

Lewis nodded before taking out his tome and turning around. "Alright Jason, let's move."

Jason nodded as the two friends walked further into the tunnel. Lewis kept the torch up in front of him, the page turned to his crystal arrow. Jason meanwhile was visibly concentrating to go at speed that wouldn't involve him having a very forceful encounter with a stone wall. As they continued down, Lewis began to smell something odd.

"Hey Jason, do you smell that?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah. Smoke." Jason replied.

"Not entirely sure if that's a natural smell in a cave system like this, but that's not important. We need to find that necklace." Lewis said. "Still, I don't see any other direction this tunnel leads. Let's keep going."

The two friends kept walking until Jason saw light flickering around one end of the tunnel. Jason extinguished his torch and Lewis did the same. The two pressed themselves against a wall and listened out for the voices that echoed through the tunnels.

"Can't believe this. How many months has it been since our outpost got raided? One? Three? Now look at us! Members of a fearsome and powerful Dark Guild now reduced to a three cowards hiding in a cave!" a booming male voice shouted.

"Shut your yap! It's not our fault we got sold out to the Magic Council by those pesky villagers." chided another female voice. "We don't even have enough money to get a lousy meal!"

"Come on guys, lighten up! We found that really expensive looking necklace in the outer tunnels!" said a younger voice. "If we can sell it we can get a train ticket back to the Guild Hall easy peasy!"

Lewis' eyes widened and Jason turned and nodded before, in a flash of movement, he disappeared.

"Hey, what was that wind?" one of the dark wizards wondered.

"Take a wild guess, you idiot." Spat the female.

A loud thump came from the lit tunnel and the woman fell to the ground.

"What the heck was that?!" shouted the booming wizard, leaping up. Lewis leapt around the corner, arrow spell ready.

"Ice Make: Arrow!" Lewis shouted, aiming his spell for the bulky dark wizard. The light blue crystal arrow sailed towards the wizard before slamming into his right arm, encasing it in a thin layer of ice.

"My arm!" he shouted before turning to Lewis. "Alright you little punk, what do you think you're doing?!"

"They're here for the necklace!" shouted the other wizard, leaping up and readying a spell. "We can't let 'em take it from us!"

The burly wizard splayed his hand before a large hexagonal iron club appeared in it and he smashed the ice surrounding his right arm. "You'll have to do better than that if you want to defeat me kid!"

Jason sped around the small cavern before slamming a foot into the burly wizard's neck, causing him to cough and drop his club. The other wizard turned and ran, causing rocks to drop behind him with a brown magic circle. Lewis raced forward and picked up the studded iron club before swinging it into the burly wizard's chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending him into a wall where he slumped to the floor unconscious.

"Jason! We need to get after that last wizard!" Lewis shouted, swinging his new club into the loose pile of rubble left behind by the other wizard. "He's got the necklace!"

"On it!" Jason said, appearing for a brief moment before blurring with speed as he ran down the tunnels after the third dark wizard. After a yelp and a muted thud, Jason returned with both the necklace and the unconscious wizard. "Got it!"

"Great! Now let's tie these guys up and get back to Erza." Lewis said. "You didn't bring any rope did you?"

"I have some." came the voice of Erza as she walked into the torchlight. "You have the necklace?"

"Right here." Jason said, holding it up proudly.

"Excellent. I'm glad to see things have gone smoothly for you in this mission." Erza nodded. "I didn't expect a group of dark wizards to be mixed up in this matter. What guild are they from?"

"I don't know." Lewis shrugged. "They didn't say and we didn't check."

"I would recommend doing that now." Erza said.

Jason walked over to one of the unconscious bodies and looked for a guild symbol. What he found was what looked like a pentagram with three swords crossed through it. "I have no idea what guild these guys were from. They did say they were part of a Dark Guild though before a Council raid on their outpost."

Erza inspected the mark and frowned. "These must be members of the Oni Swords guild."

"Oni Swords?" Lewis asked, putting his book away before Erza tossed him a coil of rope.

"They were a guild dedicated to causing havoc wherever they could, destroying towns, ransacking villages and razing any guild hall that tried to stop their activities. Eventually the Council was called to deal with it and their guild hall was wiped out by the army." Erza explained.

"Some guild." Jason snorted. "We wiped the floor with 'em in five seconds flat!"

Erza eyed Jason, causing a shiver to go down his spine. "Never underestimate your enemies. Every member of Oni Swords is a trained killer, and if you hadn't caught them off guard they would have killed you. Remember that."

"Y-yes." Jason said.

"However there is something that just doesn't add up." Erza said, stroking her chin with an armoured thumb. "It was recorded that every part of Oni Swords was destroyed, so why are these three bearing their guild mark?"

Lewis was dragging the three dark wizards together before binding them together with the rope Erza had given him. When he had finished, he picked up the iron club he had found and opened up his book again. Erza looked at Lewis and marched over to him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to put this item in a requip dimension. Apparently this book has a requip spell that I can use." Lewis said, trying to keep the club on his shoulder.

"Preposterous! That weapon is far too heavy for you!" Erza shouted, taking the club and tossing it over her shoulder, embedding it in the solid rock wall behind her. "I'm sure there will be something more suited to you in the marketplaces of Magnolia."

*v* v*v*

*v*v*v*

Jason and Lewis burst through the guild hall doors of Fairy Tail. Many wizards looked up from their meals or drinks, expecting to see Natsu or someone equally as energetic and reckless, only to find they couldn't recognise the two at the door.

"We're back!" they both proclaimed, a bag of Jewels in both their hands. "And we didn't get killed!"

Makarov looked up from his position on the bar and grinned. "Well now, it seems our newest recruits are fairly capable. So Erza, how much property was destroyed?"

"Two tunnels in the Clover Caverns were collapsed, but it wasn't caused by these two." Erza reported.

"Really? That's far less than I expected!" Makarov grinned. "Well, I think it's fairly safe to say you two kids have earned a place in our guild!"

"Alright!" Jason and Lewis cheered, giving each other a high five.

"Now, there's simply the matter of deciding where you want your guild marks." Mirajane said, holding up a magic stamp tool.

"I'll have mine on my left palm." Lewis said, holding up his left hand.

"Gimmie mine on my forearm." Jason grinned.

A moment later, both Jason and Lewis now were marked with the Fairy Tail guild symbol, Lewis' coloured cyan and Jason's a deep red.

"Alright, there you go! Welcome to Fairy Tail!" Mira smiled warmly.


	2. Chapter 2

Jason and Lewis were walking through the markets of Magnolia, searching for new things to buy with their bag loads of currency. They had first found a place to rent out for the both of them, a small apartment on the riverfront just a few streets away from Lucy's apartment.

Lewis had spent almost half his money on a weapon for his requip spell, a silvery short sword with a green wrapped handle but with the rest of his money he had bought a large brown wizard's hat, a matching overcoat with a pair of dark brown leather boots and a single dark brown leather glove over his right hand, the end of it secured by a small belt. Jason was now wearing a billowing light brown overcoat with a pair of dark knee high boots cluttered with belts, chains and buckles. Around his legs were baggy dark red pants and a loose white shirt, parts of it billowing in the wind that wasn't held down by his bandolier with its variety of colourful concoctions. Covering his hands were a pair of soft black fingerless gloves and upon his head rested a magnificent black silk top hat.

"I still maintain that the top hat is out of place." Lewis said.

"How about you shut up?" Jason asked. "You're just jealous of my unlimited swag."

The two novice wizards marched through the streets happily, pleased that they had new clothes, an apartment and a place in arguably one of the most famous guilds in Fiore, Fairy Tail.

"So what now?" Lewis asked. "Should we try to find a way back home?"

"Fuck that noise, I'm staying here!" Jason laughed. "I've got magic and stuff now, why would I want to go back?"

"What about our families, our other friends?" Lewis asked.

"I refer you to my previous statement." Jason snorted.

Lewis sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Oh well, it's not like we could go back anyway. Not without that damned book."

Jason looked further up the street and saw a crowd of people gathering out the front of the guild hall. "Hey, what's that about?" he asked.

"Wanna go find out?" Lewis said before running towards the crowd.

The two friends raced towards the crowd and found it to be comprised mostly of Fairy Tail members. When they reached the forefront, they found it was Natsu standing right in the middle of the circle. When he spotted the two, he waved at them.

"Hey guys, about time you showed up!"

"Natsu, what's all this about?" Lewis asked.

"Since you two kids are the newest in the guild, Natsu's just been itching to fight you. He's been going on all day about how he wants to test your skills." A nearby wizard said.

"S-seriously?" Lewis stammered, colour draining from his face.

"Hey, that sounds fun!" Jason said.

"Jason are you nuts?!" Lewis almost shouted while trying to keep a quiet tone. "Fighting Natsu is a bad, bad, really bad idea! We're not even close to his skill level!"

Natsu seemed to hear this and grinned. "Well if you're not feeling confident I'll give you guys a handicap. You can both fight me at once!"

"Sounds good to me!" Jason said, cracking his knuckles before taking a conical flask from his bandolier. "Come on Lewis, it is fighting time!"

"I know we're going to regret this…" Lewis groaned, taking his book out from his satchel and tightening his glove.

"Alright, I'm getting all fired up now!" Natsu cheered before crashing his knuckles together, searing flames engulfing both fists.

Makarov cleared his throat and held up a hand when the three wizards were ready. "Alright, begin!"

Natsu was the first to move, rushing straight towards Lewis. Jason hurriedly drank his deep blue potion before sliding into Natsu's way and delivering a strong punch to the chest, sending Natsu skidding backwards!

"Whoa, that guy sent Natsu flying!"

"What kind of magic is that?"

"You like that?" Jason laughed. "That's the effect of my strength potion! I'll be able to knock you out in a second with this!"

"Hey, that's not bad!"Natsu said, dusting himself off. "For a minute there I didn't think you'd be able to put up much of a fight!"

"Try me!" Jason said, going on the offensive. He charged at Natsu, swinging with a right hook which Natsu was able to block and retaliate with a punch of his own to Jason's gut.

"Ice Make: Arrow!" Lewis shouted, the blue crystal arrow sailing through the air towards Natsu. The arrow impacted on his leg and a casing of ice covered his thigh.

"Hey, that's cold man!" Natsu shouted.

Lewis lobbed another arrow at Natsu's leg and it coated his shin in ice before joining up to the thigh ice sheet, immobilising Natsu's leg.

"Alright! Jason, do the thing!" Lewis shouted.

Jason lunged forward with fist ready to deliver a precise strike, but Natsu was quicker. He lifted up his ice covered leg so it impacted with Jason's fist, shattering the ice and blocking his strike. When Jason reeled backward, Natsu kicked out and caught Jason in the chest, sending him skidding back and into Lewis. Lewis caught Jason and helped him back on his feet while Natsu stood with his arms folded.

"Gotta say, you guys are doing better than I expected!" Natsu said.

"I got the same feeling." Lewis said while trying to think of a plan. "Wait a minute, I think I have an idea."

Lewis flipped a page in his book and clawed his hand. A red magic circle appeared in it and he aimed it towards Natsu.

"Flameburst!"

A gout of flame arced towards Natsu and the crowd groaned.

"Doesn't this kid know that Natsu's immune to fire?"

"Not to mention he can swallow it to make himself stronger."

"They're in for it now…"

When Natsu stared to suck up Lewis' flames, Lewis grabbed Jason's arm and charged forward.

"Lewis, what the hell are you-" Jason shouted.

"Duck!" Lewis interrupted.

Lewis slammed his elbow into Natsu's distended gut, causing him to lurch forward violently and belch out the flames he had sucked in causing most of the crowd to leap out of the way of the flames.

"Now Jason!" Lewis shouted before retreating to a safe distance.

"Oh, I get it." Jason grinned before balling up his fist and delivering a strong uppercut into Natsu's chin. Natsu sailed through the air before crashing onto the ground.

Lewis sighed and rubbed his elbow. "Man, I didn't think that'd work."

"I thought you were an idiot. I still do!" Jason laughed.

As Natsu got to his feet, Lewis felt the weight of inevitability press down on him.

"Please just stay down!" he whimpered.

"Man, that was a really good punch, and the fire didn't taste too bad either!" Natsu grinned. "You guys are gonna be tougher to beat than I thought!"

Just after he said this, part of the crowd broke apart and a fist was brought down onto Natsu's head.

"There you are you idiot!" shouted Gray. "What are you doing here?"

"Gray! Come on, gimme a break! Can't a guy fight in peace?" Natsu growled.

"You're fighting both these guys at once? You do know how stupid that is, even for you right?" Gray grumbled.

"Why don't you just butt out ice for brains?" Natsu shouted.

"What's that you little mouth breather?"

As the ice and fire mage started bickering, Jason and Lewis looked at each other in confusion. Lewis then turned to Makarov who just sighed.

"These two do this every time one of 'em plays up. Just a shame Erza isn't here to break it up." Makarov grumbled.

"So, is the fight over or what?" Lewis asked.

"The match is only over when one of the combatants has been knocked out or is otherwise unable to fight. Neither of those criteria has been filled, so the match is still on." Makarov said. "And after that last display a lot of people have started betting on you to win this."

"Yourself included?" Lewis asked.

Makarov looked into the sky sheepishly, stroking his moustache. "Well… Maybe just a little."

'Of course you did.' Lewis thought.

Gray sighed and looked at Natsu. "So you're fighting both these guys by yourself huh? You must be getting your butt kicked."

"Oh yeah, so why don't you join in?" Natsu grinned.

Gray smirked and turned to Jason and Lewis. "Alright. Maybe I will."

At that point, most of the people in the crowd started changing their bets.

"Darn it, there go my savings!" Makarov cursed.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Jason snorted.

"He is right though." Lewis groaned.

"Hey gramps, we're ready to start again!" Natsu called.

Makarov cleared his throat and lifted a hand into the sky. "Okay! Round two begins now!"

The air around Gray started to become visible as the temperature dropped suddenly. Natsu on the other hand started powering up his flames. Lewis looked between the two worriedly before Jason bolted towards Natsu.

"Oh, so that leaves me with Gray. Wonderful." Lewis said, flipping through his book to his Requip spell. A silver magic circle appeared in Lewis' gloved hand and his sword appeared in a flash of light. He then quickly flipped over the page, but Gray's spell was ready first.

"Ice Make: Lance!" Gray shouted, sending his arms forwards as a light blue magic circle erupted from his palm. Lewis gasped and leapt out of the way of the numerous ice spears hurtling in his direction, rolling when he hit the ground before dropping his sword and aiming his clawed hand at Gray.

"Flameburst!"

The spout of flame hurtled towards Gray, but just before it could engulf Gray the stream of fire turned sharply, straight into Natsu's mouth.

After Natsu swallowed the fire, he grinned maniacally. "Alright, now I've got some real fire in my belly!"

Jason ran at Natsu, strength potion still going strong when Natsu leaned backwards, his cheeks bulging with fire.

"Fire Dragon Roar!" he shouted as he put two hands in front of his face before blowing out an enormous spout of flame towards Jason.

Jason was barely able to dodge out of the way, almost getting his afro singed again. Unfortunately the direction he dodged in also meant he collided with Lewis, right into the path of one of Gray's spells.

"Ice Make: Floor!"

As the ground was replaced by a sheet of ice, Lewis felt his balance betray him and he was flipped onto his back. Getting up uneasily, he managed to gain his balance back before Gray launched another spell at him, a huge number of ice crystals.

Lewis' sword flashed in the sun as he tried to parry the crystals, but some slipped through his defences. Ice crystals encased his knees, one of his elbows and half his chest before they stopped.

"Ready to give up?" Gray called.

"Not yet!" Lewis replied, clutching at the parts of his body that had been encased in ice. He didn't want to risk burning himself by melting the ice, so he decided to fight through it.

"You must be getting tired by now." Gray snorted.

Gray was right. Lewis could feel the sword in his grip slipping back into the ethereal dimension. He was pretty sure he had a stitch and several nasty bruises where Gray had struck him. Still, Lewis tightened his grip on the sword.

"Jason, I think it's pretty clear we're never going to win this if we don't work together!" Lewis shouted, skidding over to Jason over the ice.

"Yeah, but there's something else you should know." Jason breathed heavily.

"What's that?"

Without warning, Jason's arms flopped limply to his sides. "My potion ran out. I can't even move my arms anymore… Damn these side effects…"

Lewis stared at Jason open mouthed before looking at Natsu and Gray, both grinning and looking extremely dangerous. Lewis then felt his sword disappear on him and he looked back at the other two wizards.

"I'm gonna get beat up a lot aren't I?" Lewis whimpered.

"Oh yeah." Natsu grinned.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis and Jason were soon recuperating in the guild hall amongst the laughter and noise of their fellow guild members, both lightly wrapped in white bandages. While Lewis and Jason lost, that didn't mean that all the other guild members were off celebrating with Natsu and Gray. A few of them were giving their regards to the two friends before they continued with their own work.

"You two kids did great!"

"I guess Natsu bit off more than he could chew! Lucky for him Gray was there, otherwise you kids could'a mopped the floor with him!"

"Not bad for a couple of newbies. You kids might just make a high ranking duo here in Fairy Tail."

After most of the praise had been shipped their way, Lewis and Jason debated whether or not to take a quest from the Request Board.

"I'm exhausted from that fight. I just wanna go back to the apartment." Jason sighed, laying his chin on the table.

"I'm amazed you're not complaining about your injuries. How many bruises did you say you had again?" Lewis scoffed, rubbing his mild frostbite courtesy of Gray.

"Twenty three. And some mild burns." He said, holding up his bandaged arm. "Apparently these magic bandages will heal my burns in about three days. We can get a quest then."

"Yeah, I guess so." Lewis said, reading through his book again. What he found was that a new page had appeared! "What's this?"

Jason leaned over and glanced at the page. "Looks like some kind of lightning spell. What's it called?"

"Sparkstream by the looks of it." Lewis said before slamming the book shut and resting his head on it. "But to hell with trying it out just now. I'd like nothing better than to take a break from all this activity."

"There you guys are!" Natsu laughed, clapping both tired wizards over the back. "Man, that was a great fight!"

"Universe just isn't doing any favours today huh?" Jason asked.

"Aye." Lewis responded.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Three days later, Lewis and Jason were back at the Request Board, looking for a suitable quest.

"Now the rent isn't due for a week, but that doesn't mean we should get a low paying job." Lewis said. "It's best to reach the rent level first before we spend money on ourselves."

"But what is there to do?" Jason asked, looking around. Eventually he spotted a poster he liked. "What about that one?"

"Looking for a lost pet? Did I goddamn stutter?!" Lewis asked, smacking Jason over the head with a paper fan.

"Ow! Where did you get that?!"

Lewis looked at the fan in his hand with a surprised expression. "I have no idea. Hammerspace probably."

"Whatever. Anyway, just look at the reward." Jason pointed out. "Sixty Thousand Jewels! Apparently it's just lost in the sewers under Magnolia. We can find it and then come back here and take another job immediately, not to mention this job alone will pay half our rent!"

"Did you two children say you were planning to take the sewer pet hunt job?" asked the deep voice of Elfman as he passed. "Good luck. Natsu, Gray, Lucy, Erza and Happy tried that job and got lost down there for two whole days. Apparently they all got separated and were found scattered all over Magnolia when they came back up."

"Well in that case, maybe we could ask them for a couple of clues as to where it might be." Lewis reasoned.

"Good plan." Jason nodded.

"Huh. Well I'm not going to tell you what to do." Elfman said before walking off.

"Now we just need to find Natsu, Erza or Gray. I don't think Lucy's going to be much help." Jason said.

"And what makes you say that?" asked an angry voice from behind them. Turning around, Lewis and Jason both saw a very angry looking Lucy, a very nervous Plue sitting on her shoulder.

"Jason I swear to god, don't say anything else." Lewis said desperately.

"Listen buster, what makes you think I'm useless, huh?!" Lucy shouted, poking Jason in the chest.

"I didn't say that." Jason said.

"Well I guess I'll just prove it to you then! I'm taking that sewer job again, and when I complete it, I'll use the money to hire a parade celebrating me and my usefulness!" Lucy shouted, snatching the poster off the Request Board.

"Not if we do it first! Come on Lewis, we have a quest to do!" Jason shouted, grabbing Lewis by the arm and running out the door, Lucy hot on their heels.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The sewer system of Magnolia is a notorious place. Filled with swarms of rats, the occasional monster and an ever-present foul stench, these drab grey brick tunnels are lined with an equally grey fungus illuminated by the light from the lantern Lewis and Jason were walking through the sewers, a dark green river of sewerage running in the canal just to their right.

"So we're looking for one Mister Cuddles, right?" Jason asked.

"Correct." Lewis said, tome in hand. "She said that Mister Cuddles has been lost down here for something close to a week now, so we might need to hurry."

"Yeah, about that. You know how every time something is called Mister Cuddles it's usually a giant fucking monster?" Jason wondered aloud.

"I understand where you're coming from, but who would keep something like that in Magnolia, a populated city?" Lewis said. "Besides, the woman who hired us had a cat flap on the door. So Mister Cuddles shouldn't be too big."

"I get it. What I'm wondering is where Lucy has gotten to." Jason said, looking around the shrouded tunnels.

Shortly after they had gotten the job, Lucy had disappeared into the sewer system loudly declaring that she would be the first to locate and capture Mister Cuddles.

"Wait, are you sure competing with a main character is a good idea?" Lewis asked. "I mean, what if she gets lost because of us?"

"So?" Jason snorted.

"Well for one, Natsu is going to be pissed. Two, we might get kicked outta Fairy Tail! And three, even if she doesn't get lost, she's still going to win because she's the main freaking character!" Lewis shouted. "Not to mention we could disrupt the entire cannon if she isn't found again!"

"Keep it down will ya? This place echoes like a bitch." Jason whispered.

"Right, sorry." Lewis sighed. "We'd better keep moving."

The two continued walking until they reached a cross section. All paths seemed to lead into darkness, but one of them had a small shuffling sound coming from far down that path.

"There it is!" Jason shouted, running down the path.

"Jason! God damn it, wait for me!" Lewis shouted, giving chase.

As the two approached the shuffling noise, a loud splash filled the air. Lewis flipped to his Flameburst spell. He had a very bad feeling about what was about to happen.

The two wizards stood there, back to back. Jason's hand went to his bandolier and he picked out a special flask that had a piece of glass separating the bottle into two halves, one filled with red and the other with blue.

"You're going to combine your potions?" Lewis asked.

"Why not?" Jason shrugged.

"Have you at least tested for side effects?"

It was at that moment the sewer water broke with a loud roaring sound as a green scaly flash leapt from the water. Lewis leapt at Jason and knocked him to the ground just in time for the alligator's jaws to snap shut where they were moments ago.

"Run you bastard, run!" Lewis roared, grabbing his fallen hat, his friend and sprinting down the tunnels.

"Those guys spent two whole days of this bullshit?!" Jason shouted.

"Just shut up and keep running!" Lewis wailed.

As the two rounded a corner they were met with a dreadful sight. A shaft of light from above illuminated a deep, dark pit that several tunnels poured sewer water into.

"Well, one thing's for sure. We're not going this way." Jason said.

"What the hell are we gonna do now?!" Lewis shouted.

"Simple! We fight this bitch!" Jason shouted, gulping down his dual potion. Two magic circles, one blue and one red, appeared in front of his chest and legs before being absorbed into them. Jason stretched his muscles as the giant alligator rounded the bend. "Hey you faggot alligator! You're a faggot!"

Jason rushed forward, his body blurred with speed before kicking the alligator in the nose, but this only seemed to annoy it.

"Lewis, do something ya bastard!" Jason yelled as he started grappling the gator.

"Flameburst!" Lewis shouted. A spout of blazing fire sent plumes of stinking steam up from the sewer water before scorching the hardened scales of the alligator.

The alligator charged at Lewis before sliding across the wet stone slabs and swatting at him with its powerful tail, sending Lewis hurtling over the edge. Lewis screamed as he fell, grasping for his book.

"Lewis!" Jason yelled.

As Lewis fell, he saw the book flip to a different page, showing a vibrant green magic circle and a pair of wings. Lewis felt his fall slow until he came to a stop before hovering back up! Only then did he feel that a pair of white wings had sprouted from his back, the green magic circle in his book still illuminating the space around him.

"Thank you, deus ex machina!" Lewis cheered as he flew back up to Jason's level, where he was fighting off the alligator.

"Hey, what the fuck is that? You find a spell that saves your ass while I get stuck fighting an alligator? No fair!" Jason pouted before dodging out of the way of the alligator's lightning fast jaws, punching it in the snout in retaliation.

"Glad to see you value my life so highly!" Lewis shouted in response before turning the page in his tome, whereupon he felt the wings on his back dissipate. "So I can only cast Aera magic when I'm on that page huh? Good to know."

Lewis eventually found his Sparkstream spell, where he splayed his fingers towards the alligator, a blazing yellow magic circle appearing in front of his hand.

"Sparkstream!"

Several yellow bolts of lightning arced towards the alligator, but when they hit the alligator it only seemed to stun it momentarily!

"That did nothing you idiot!" Jason shouted as the alligator started to advance. The gator smacked Jason with its tail, sending him skidding through the water towards Lewis. When he regained his balance, Jason felt something squirming in his intestines. "Hey, I feel sick…"

Jason's entire body was racked with pain as he fell to the ground, clutching his stomach. Lewis tried to help his friend up, but he was completely incapacitated by muscle spasms and pain.

"Remember what I said about side effects?" Lewis asked.

"Oh shut the hell up." Jason groaned, clutching his stomach.

As the alligator started its advance once more, Lewis summoned his short sword into his gloved hand. The alligator reared up on its hind legs, ready to bite at Lewis when a black whip wrapped around its jaws, trapping them shut. Taking the advantage, Lewis charged the alligator and thrust the pommel of his sword into the alligator's chest, knocking the wind out of it. As it fell to the sewer water, a brown high heeled boot smacked down onto its head, knocking it out.

"Who's useless now?" Lucy asked triumphantly, standing over the defeated alligator.

"Well to be fair, we did do most of the work." Lewis said before sitting down heavily, overcome with fatigue. "That being said, it's safe to say we probably would have died if it weren't for you. Thanks Lucy."

"No problem!" Lucy smiled before checking around on the alligator's body. "Now there should be a name tag on this sucker somewhere."

Jason's head snapped up towards Lewis, a furious expression on his face. "Oh, the woman who hired us had a cat flap. There's no WAY it's going to be a giant-" Jason said mimicking Lewis' voice.

"God damn it Jason, not another word."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

As it turned out, the alligator they had defeated in the sewers really was the pet they were after, but it had grown in size exponentially from a damaged magic item that had been lost in the sewers.

"God damn magic sewers, no good for anyone." Jason grumbled as they walked from the woman's house, wallets now laden with currency.

"At least we managed to finish the job." Lewis said, leafing through his cut of the Jewels.

Jason snorted and looked at Lucy. "But what I don't get is why Lucy got fifty per cent while we only get twenty five percent each. We have to pay our rent too ya know!"

"Hey, just be grateful I actually gave you some after what your friend here said about me." Lucy huffed, crossing her arms.

"But we did all the hard work! You just came in at the last minute and finished it off, so don't take all the credit!" Jason protested.

"Jason, if Lucy didn't come when she did then that alligator probably would have either eaten us or sent us spiralling to a horrible smelly death. We can take some more quests after we bathe. I'm betting all three of us reek to high heaven." Lewis said diplomatically.

"Yeah, I never wanted to go into that sewer again." Lucy sighed.

As Lucy eventually left for her apartment, Lewis and Jason soon arrived at theirs. It wasn't nearly as lavish as Lucy's, but it was the best they were able to afford at short notice. The walls were a light brown colour as was the carpet, and the windows were speckled with dirt and grime. But otherwise it was perfectly liveable.

It also seemed that Natsu and Happy had this same thought, since they were sitting in the middle of the apartment eating.

"Oh hey guys! How'd the sewer quest go?" Natsu asked cheerily.

"What the hell are you doing in our apartment?!" Lewis shouted.

"Jeez, why so hostile?" Happy asked, floating in the air in front of Lewis. "You really should be nicer to your guests."

"You're not guests! You're breaking and entering!" Lewis roared, the volume of his voice sending Happy hurtling out the open window.

"Hey calm down man, it's not like we stole anything." Nastu shrugged as Happy flew back in through the window.

"Aye!"

Lewis sighed and tossed his hat onto the hatstand situated in the corner before sitting down heavily on a creaking wooden chair. "Okay fine. So what are you doing here anyway?"

"We just wanted to see how you guys were doing, that's all." Happy said before covering his nose. "Though you guys really stink. Maybe we shouldn't have visited right after you got out of the sewers."

"Hey, maybe we could visit Lucy instead!" Natsu laughed before remembering something. "Oh yeah, there's something I wanted to ask you guys."

"What is it?" Jason asked.

"I was going to go on a big quest with the others and I was wondering if you guys might wanna tag along!" Natsu grinned.

"What's the quest?" Lewis asked, interest piqued.

Natsu scrounged around in his pocket before digging out a brown and torn piece of parchment from the Request Board.

"Five hundred thousand Jewels for a reward?! That's awesome!" Jason laughed.

Lewis was calculating in his head how much they would all receive. "That's about eighty three thousand Jewels each, give or take a few hundred. What's the details of the quest?"

"There's a bunch of small time dark wizards terrorising a town not far from here, so we're gonna knock 'em outta town!" Happy cheered.

"That's right! So do you guys wanna come along or not?" Natsu asked.

Jason and Lewis then went into a quiet debate about whether or not they should go with Natsu.

"Do you really think we're skilled enough to go along with them?" Lewis whispered.

"Of course we are! Why else would Natsu ask us to join him?"

"I'll give you three guesses."

"Ah come on, if we do this job we'll be able to pay our rent easily!"

"I guess you're right…"

Jason and Lewis turned back to Natsu, the former giving Natsu a thumbs up.

"Well alright!" Natsu cheered. "Welcome aboard guys!"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The train whistled loudly as Jason, Lewis, Happy, Natsu, Erza, Lucy and Gray sat in an almost empty passenger car. Happy was helping Natsu deal with passenger sickness, Erza appeared to be minding her own business and Lucy was talking with Gray while Jason prepared more potions and Lewis studied his tome.

"So have you finally worked out your side effects?" Lewis asked as he looked through the tome again.

"Yes, and I've modified the dosage so I can still fight even after the potion wears off. I've also made a couple of new potions too, a toughness potion and an invisibility potion." Jason said, scribbling in a small notebook.

"Are you two boys making progress with your magic?" Erza asked. "This will be a fairly dangerous mission. I'm sure Natsu made the whole thing sound easy, but the reality is you may not be coming back from this quest alive if you are not strong enough."

"Well, we've certainly made some progress. I've learned two new spells, and Jason learned that he shouldn't test potions in the middle of combat." Lewis said.

"Screw you, ya bastard." Jason snorted.

"Mind your language Jason." Erza commanded. "I'm afraid simply telling me this won't satisfy me. No, I need you two to give a demonstration of your abilities."

"Now?" Lewis asked.

"Of course not! This is a public transport." Erza snorted. "When we get to our destination, I'll have you two spar with me."

"Heh heh. Stupid Lewis. Wait, what?" Jason asked.

"Sp-sparring? With Erza?" Lewis gulped.

"Hey, no fair! You get to fight with Erza?" Pouted Natsu before becoming wracked with another wave of travel sickness.

*v*v*v*

*v*v* v*

There is a small town in the mountainous regions of Fiorie called Pierta, home to several hundred mine workers. The town was a great source of lacrima crystals until an unknown Dark Guild invaded and took over the mineshafts. When the group arrived at the town's train station, Lewis immediately drew his coat tighter.

"Jeez, it's freezing up here!"

"No kidding." Jason shivered.

"What's your problem?" Gray asked, walking off the train in nothing but his underwear.

"Pants, Gray!" screamed Lucy.

"Huh? Oh man, not again!"

"Alright, let's find these Dark Guild bozos and take 'em out!" Natsu roared.

"Aye sir!" Happy cheered.

Just before Natsu could charge off Erza grabbed him by the collar. "Aren't you forgetting something Natsu? We still need to test the strength of these two you brought along."

"Oh yeah. Now I really wanna see this!" Natsu laughed, turning around. "You guys had better be ready! Erza's an S-Class mage and she never holds back! You guys are gonna be in for a really tough challenge!"

"That is too comforting." Lewis groaned sarcastically.


	3. Chapter 3

Jason and Lewis were standing a few metres away from Erza, sword in hand. Natsu, Gray, Happy and Lucy were sitting by a campfire provided by Natsu waiting for the sparring match to begin.

"Are you ready for this Jason?" Lewis asked, taking out his spell tome and opening it to the ice arrow spell.

"I hope so." Jason said, taking out an orange and a blue potion before drinking down both of them, orange and blue magic circles appearing in front of him before being absorbed into his torso.

"Let's go." Erza said, shifting into a fighting stance.

Erza was the first to attack and charged directly at Lewis, sword swinging. Jason calmly stepped in front of Lewis before raising his arm to block the sword strike, sending it bouncing off with a resounding clang.

"What the…" Erza gasped.

"Whoa! What kind of magic is that?" Natsu asked.

"Beats me, I've never seen anything like it." Lucy said.

"Good thing my toughness potion works so well!" Jason laughed. "Now my skin's pretty much as resilient as stone!"

"Show off." Lewis snorted before snapping his palm towards Erza. "Ice Make: Arrow!"

The crystal arrow sailed towards Erza who leaned out the arrow's path, sending the arrow into a snow drift.

"Pfft. I've seen way better." Gray scoffed.

Jason went on the offensive, swinging wildly at Erza. While he managed to land a few punches, Erza simply grunted and shrugged it off.

"Man, S-Class mages are strong!" Jason remarked as he swung at Erza again, who in turn caught his punch before flipping Jason over her back and into a pile of snow.

"You are strong with that potion of yours, but your strikes will never break through my armour on their own." Erza said before turning to Lewis, who had a bright yellow magic circle hovering before his gloved hand.

"Sparkstream!"

Multiple arcs of lightning raced towards Erza, but she was already covered in a shell of light as she started to requip. As soon as the lightning hit, Erza was already wearing her Lightning Empress armour.

"You however appear to have a different problem." Erza remarked. "Your magic is varied yet weak. You'll have to combine your magic if you want to deal any real damage!"

"Ah hell." Lewis gulped as Erza raised her spear.

Erza thrust her spear towards Lewis, a beam of blue lightning arcing directly towards him. Lewis quickly flipped the page as a light green magic circle burst from both the book and his back and he felt himself lifted into the air just in time to avoid the lightning. A gasp went up from the gathered crowd of onlookers as well as from the rest of their group. Lewis breathed a deep sigh of relief to know that he wasn't about to become a charred wizard. It was then that Happy glided up beside Lewis.

"I didn't know you were a cat!" Happy remarked.

"What the hell makes you think I'm a cat?!" Lewis shouted.

"But you can fly, just like a normal cat!" Happy reasoned.

"Name one thing about you that's normal."

Jason groaned as he dug himself out of the snowdrift before running towards Erza. Hearing Jason's footsteps crunching through the snow, Erza whipped around with spear at the ready for hand to hand combat. Erza thrust the spear at Jason who caught the blade with his bare hands before pushing it to the side and aiming a precise strike at Erza's shoulder.

Erza leaned out of the way of the punch before kneeing Jason in the gut causing him to double over but not gasp or even feel any pain. Erza seemed to notice this and hooked her leg around Jason's leg, tripping him over and sending him toppling to the ground.

"Ah, damn it!" Jason shouted before he looked up in the sky and saw Lewis hurtling to the ground at alarming speed. Erza saw Jason's surprised face and also turned and raised her spear sideways to defend herself.

"Aera Drop Kick!" Lewis screamed, swinging down with his leg at Erza. Lewis' boot heel connected with the spear shaft with a loud crack and Jason took this opportunity to kick out with both his legs into the back of Erza's knees, sending her toppling to the ground along with Lewis.

Lewis scrambled to his feet and leapt backwards as Erza and Jason did the same before clutching at his chest. He was getting really tired, both from muscle fatigue and rapidly draining magic energy. He was also worried that Jason's potions could run out at any minute.

"I have to say, you two are proving to be much more of a challenge than I expected." Erza said before requipping again, this time back into her regular armour, but now she wielded two swords.

Lewis groaned before steeling himself and flipping to his requip spell, the silver magic circle appearing in the book with the green wrapped sword handle jutting out from the pages. Grasping the handle, Lewis unsheathed the blade and held it out, ready for battle before he flipped to his ice arrow spell. He saw the icy blue magic circle appear in front of the pages before the blade of the sword started to coat itself in magical frost.

"Now you seem to be grasping the basic principles of combining magic. Let's see if it works!" Erza shouted, charging towards Lewis. As their blades clashed, Erza noticed her blades getting heavier as they were coated with ice crystals.

As Lewis attempted to block Erza's precise strikes he felt his guard slipping. When Erza unexpectedly swung horizontally with her sword Lewis ducked to avoid it but Erza kicked him in the chest into another snow drift. Jason leapt towards Erza to grapple her, but Erza ducked and Jason went sailing into Lewis.

"Jason! Get off me!" Lewis groaned, trying to push his friend off.

"I'd love to, but I'm out of magic energy again." Jason slurred, face embedded in the powdery snow.

Lewis sighed and flopped his head back into the snow. "Well, we got our butts kicked again."

"I wouldn't say that." Erza said. "You two put up a decent fight for your skill level. You may make great wizards someday given the right training and discipline."

"I don't think Jason is one for discipline." Lewis said. "Now could you please get him off me? I think he's crushing my lungs…"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Erza, Lucy, Natsu, Happy, Gray, Lewis and Jason were staying in several rooms the innkeeper had allowed them to use when they said they were here to remove the Dark Guild presence in Pierta. Lewis and Jason were resting up, recovering after their strenuous sparring with Erza.

"Okay, let's not have any more fights with main characters." Lewis said, lying on his bed.

"Why? You still need to get your ass handed to you by Happy." Jason snickered. Lewis responded in an entirely mature and professional manner by chucking a pillow at Jason.

"Hey! Have your damn pillow back ya bastard!" Jason said, tossing the pillow back at Lewis.

Lewis leaned back on his bed and recently reclaimed pillow and stared at the ceiling. "Hey Jason, I'm feeling a bit daunted by our upcoming task."

"Smaller words, fewer syllables." Jason said, carefully dropping a sliver of a gnarled black root into a rounded flask, the liquid inside turning to a vibrant pink colour. "That wasn't what it was supposed to do…"

"What I mean is we're going to fight a bunch of Dark Guild wizards. We, who didn't even believe magic's existence until a few days ago, are going up against trained and evil mages who have probably been doing this for who knows how long! We're probably going to die." Lewis said solemnly.

Jason leaned over and hit Lewis' stomach with an open hand, causing him to leap up and his breath to rush from his lungs.

"What the hell was that for?!" Lewis yelled.

"We're not going to die." Jason said calmly. "For someone so grounded in reality, you forget to take in a lot of facts. We've got Natsu, Erza, Gray and Lucy with us, the entire cast of main characters. It's doubtful that we'll be hurt, let alone killed."

"I get what you're saying, but we're not main characters! Something is going to happen to us, I can feel it!" Lewis argued.

"If that happens, the others are just going to rescue us at the last moment. It's how these things work." Jason said before turning and grinning. "Besides, I'm not about to let myself get captured by one of those Dark Guild dickheads."

Lewis realised the truth in Jason's words and nodded. "In that case, it's probably best if we get some sleep. I have a feeling we're in for a hell of a fight tomorrow."

"You have a lot of feelings don't you?" Jason snorted.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The team of Fairy Tail guild members stood proudly outside the entrance to the Dark Guild hideout, the mines of Pierta.

"Alright, stay close! Let's go!" Erza shouted before summoning a large two handed axe and breaking the wooden door in half.

As the team ran Lewis took out his tome and opened it, a silver magic circle appearing above the pages with the green sword handle jutting from the centre of the circle. Lewis whipped it out before snapping the book shut, but keeping it in his left hand.

"It's Fairy Tail!" Shouted a dark wizard.

"Take 'em out!" roared another before a volley of fire spells were lobbed their way.

"Get down!" Erza commanded, but when everybody else ducked Natsu sucked the fire into his mouth.

"Oh yeah, now I've got some fire in my belly!" Natsu grinned.

"They have the Salamander AND Erza with them?!"

"Get the others, we need to stop 'em!"

"I told you mines were a terrible hideout!"

Jason swigged from his red potion before blurring with speed, dealing punishing strikes to any that tried to attack or flee. After dealing with their attackers Jason stopped, adjusted his sleek top hat and pushed open another wooden door.

"After you."

As the others rushed through the door, Lewis ran closer to Erza.

"What guild do these guys belong to?" he asked.

"It wasn't specified since the villagers themselves didn't know." Erza said. "Perhaps we should investigate once we drive them out!"

"Yeah, less talking, more smashing!" Natsu roared before charging ahead of the group, breaking and burning anything he could get his hands on.

"That's Natsu for ya, always rushing ahead." Gray sighed.

"Someone had better catch up to that fool." Erza said as they approached a fork in the tunnels, Natsu's laughter echoing down from one of them. "Lewis, Jason. I need you to after Natsu and make sure he doesn't get himself killed. Happy, you go with them too."

"Aye!" Shouted the two mages and the magical cat before Jason disappeared in a flash of speed with Lewis and Happy in close pursuit.

When Jason caught up to Natsu, he was standing before a giant crack in the earth. On the opposite side of the gaping chasm, a wooden bridge was being withdrawn.

"Sorry Fairy Tail, but there's no way you're getting over here!" called a dark wizard.

"I'll show 'em! Happy, where are you?" Natsu growled.

Lewis and Happy soon joined them and when Lewis saw the chasm, he immediately dispelled his sword and started flipping through his book.

"How are we gonna get across there?" Jason complained.

"With Happy of course! Duh." Natsu said.

"Yeah, but I can't carry all of you!" Happy protested.

"You won't have to." Lewis grinned, a vibrant green magic circle appearing on his back and a light blue one over the pages of his tome. Two giant angelic wings sprouted from Lewis' back and he gave them an experimental flap.

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten you could do that." Natsu said.

"Same here." Jason nodded.

"I did it just yesterday!" Lewis yelled before sighing. "Alright, I'm not sure how long these wings will last, so let's do this. Happy, you take Natsu and I'll carry Jason."

"Aye!" cheered Happy.

Lewis and Happy hovered into the air, Jason grabbing Lewis' free arm and Happy wrapping his tail around Natsu's waist. The four then flew over the chasm and straight towards the dark wizards.

"Here we come you bozos!" Natsu shouted before Happy dropped him over the wizards. "Wing Slash of the Fire Dragon!"

"Holy crap here he comes!" Screamed a dark wizard.

When Lewis was also over the chasm he dropped Jason and himself to the ground before shutting the tome, causing the gossamer wings on his back to vanish.

"Are you alright?" Jason asked.

"I'm feeling a little drained, but not enough to keep me out of the fight. How long is that potion lasting for you?" Lewis breathed as he sat down, watching the battle unfold.

"I think I'm building up my tolerance, I think the potion's worn off but I'm not feeling the side effects." Jason said, testing his muscles.

"Well don't overdo it. The last thing we need is for something to go wrong while we're out of energy and forcing Natsu and Happy have to focus on saving our behinds." Lewis said before standing up. "Now, let's get back in action."

"Oh yeah! C'mere you!" Jason shouted before throwing himself into the fray. Lewis was about to join him when he heard somebody shouting across the ravine. Lewis peered into the distance and saw it was Erza and the others!

"I'll get the bridge for you!" Lewis shouted before running to the bridge controls, where he was blocked by three separate dark wizards.

"Sorry kid, but we're not gonna let you do that." One of them sneered.

"There's no way you'll get past us!" another jeered.

Lewis grinned and dipped his pointed hat lower. "And like that you've doomed yourselves to failure."

With a flourish, Lewis threw back his dark brown coat and opened his tome, the silver shortsword jutting from the pages and he drew it out before flipping over to the Sparkstream spell and casting it, the silver blade of the sword now crackling with yellow electricity.

"You don't scare us! Come on boys!" Shouted a burly wizard.

The three charged and Lewis ducked low before forcing the pommel of his sword into the first wizard's gut before whipping around and slashing at another, yellow sparks of electricity arcing over his body when the blade struck. As the two wizards fell to the ground, the burly one gritted his teeth and charged. Lewis braced himself for an impact that never arrived. Instead, Natsu had punched him in the gut with a flaming fist. The man doubled over and staggered backwards, clutching a wooden scaffold for balance.

"Hey, I couldn't let you have all the fun." Natsu grinned.

"What are you talking about, you got most of them!" Lewis laughed.

"That's it, I'm taking both of you out!" roared the big wizard, raising his arms as a large purple magic circle appeared.

A large dark purple stream raced towards Natsu and Lewis, but they were yanked out of the way just in time by something. When Lewis looked as to what had saved them both, it was two simple wooden arrows. Lewis looked over to the other side of the chasm and saw that it was Sagittarius who had fired the arrows.

"Yeah, way to go Sagittarius!" Lucy cheered.

"A pleasure my lady." Saluted the horse man.

The giant of a wizard looked between the two with annoyance before grinning. "At least you two can't get away from me now."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Jason shouted before running straight at him before leaping up and punching the man square in the jaw, sending him sprawling into the bridge controls, activating the lever to lower the bridge.

"Thanks Jason!" Lewis called. "Now help us get off this rock wall."

Soon the rest of the group had joined up with them, Erza called them into a meeting.

"What did you find?" Natsu asked.

"We found some seriously creepy stuff." Lucy said. "A lot of forbidden magic tools, a ton of mined lacrima crystals and a couple of guys powering them up."

"It was like some kind of production line in there." Gray said. "The lacrima crystals seemed to be designed to store magic energy that could be absorbed into anyone who touched them, essentially recharging their magic energy."

"Whatever these mages are trying to do here, it certainly isn't for the good of mankind. But I have also determined their identities which may provide a clue as to why they're here. These wizards are all members of a sister guild of sorts to Oni Swords known as Vile Masque."

"But the town below is untouched, the two can't be related." Lewis said.

"That's because Vile Masque specialises in the things that Oni Swords do not. Espionage, subtlety, assassinations, theft and more specifically, smuggling and producing illegal magic tools." Erza explained. "These two dark guilds work together, where Oni Swords take on jobs that require only brute force while Vile Masque seek to advance themselves discreetly while supplying Oni Swords with the goods and weapons they require."

"Meaning we're right in the middle of an entire mineshaft full of assassins." Jason gulped. "Fantastic."

"Trust me, I know the feeling." Lucy shivered.

"This job is far more dangerous than I once thought." Erza said. "However we cannot abandon it now. We must keep advancing until we find out what's really going on here, and as to why they're charging so much energy into these Storage Lacrimas."

"We snagged two for you guys since we thought you might be running low on energy." Gray said, tossing two perfectly round purple glowing lacrima crystals to Jason and Lewis, who caught them and immediately started feeling more energised.

"Let's move." Erza said before running into the tunnels, armour clanking as she ran. The others followed closely behind Erza, but Lewis was studying his lacrima, looking at the white marking of a triangular mask with hollow eyes, a slit for a mouth and two curved horns.

"This is the symbol of Vile Masque?" Lewis asked. "Creepy."

When the group burst through another door, they found themselves in a gigantic area cluttered with titanic wooden columns supporting the stone roof above them. Inside the massive cave was not only a giant production line of lacrima crystals but another row of people putting things into storage containers. Many of the wizards there looked up and gasped at the intruders before readying their various weapons and spells.

"Jason, now may be a good time to go balls out bananas." Lewis said quietly.

"Like I needed a reason." Jason said, taking the cork out of a red, blue and orange potion before drinking it all down, the three coloured magic circles absorbing into his body. "Break Limit Elixir!"

"Jason's got the right idea!" Natsu shouted, bashing his knuckles together before charging into the fray.

"Ice Make: Ice Cannon!" Gray shouted, creating a massive bazooka out of ice before firing blasts of cold into the advancing mages.

"Requip!" Erza shouted as her body was encased in golden light before dissipating, revealing a silvery armour with four giant metal wings.

"Man, I don't have anything like these guys." Lewis said, staring at the wide scale destruction his guildmates were causing.

"We've got a lot more in common than I first thought." Lucy sighed.

"Wait, you've got your Celestial Spirits don't you? Can't you summon another one?" Lewis asked.

"Sagittarius said he was the only one free today, and I can't summon him again since I already did." Lucy said.

"Isn't Leo free? What's he doing?" Lewis asked.

"I dunno. He said he had something really important to do today. Apparently there was this big celebration in the Celestial World and Sagittarius was the only one who could spare a few minutes today." Lucy said before catching onto what Lewis said. "Hold on, how do you know Leo?"

Lewis froze up but tried to remain calm. "Uh… Erza told me about that whole fiasco that happened when Loke was revealed to be a spirit. I don't know all the details since Erza was a little vague about the topic, but she did tell me about how Leo's crazily in love with you."

"He is not!" Lucy huffed.

"Alright, alright. I believe you." Lewis said before he mentally breathed a sigh of relief. 'Dodged a bullet there.'

Back in the fight, Jason was zipping around, breaking through tables, pillars and delivering brutal physical strikes to all foes while Natsu blazed with fire, scorching any who dared approach him. Gray stood a distance away from the combat, firing blasts of ice into the battle while Erza soared above the fray and around the giant pillars, dropping innumerable blades onto her foes. Happy stood back with Lewis and Lucy, cheering on the others before Lewis had an idea. Opening his tome the book began to float on its own and a series of blue magic circles appeared above the rapidly flipping pages.

"What are you doing?" Lucy asked as a holding both his arms out in front of him, first a crystalline blue magic circle, then a vibrant yellow and a scorching red magic circle.

"Experimenting." Lewis grinned before he felt the lacrima sphere edge its way out of his pocket before hovering between his two slightly clawed hands, glowing with radiant blue red and yellow lights. "Hope this works. United Element!"

An unexpectedly large blue crystal ice sphere covered in jagged spikes burst from the series of magic circles, a blazing red fire burning within the ball while the outside streamed with yellow bolts of lightning. The crystal bullet crashed through several wooden pillars before impacting with the ground where it exploded, coating the floor with ice and sending sparking balls of flame into the now confused and slipping dark wizards. As soon as Jason stepped on the ice, he immediately went flying through a wooden column before he crashed into a stone wall.

"God damn it Lewis, what the hell was that?!" he shouted as he got up.

"Sorry, I didn't know it would do that much damage!" Lewis called as the storage lacrima dropped to the ground, completely spent. Lewis himself was feeling pretty drained after that attack, but that was going to be more than a minor inconvenience. As Lewis bent down to pick up the lacrima a great rumbling was heard and drops of rock began to fall from the ceiling.

"It's a cave in! Run for your lives!" Screamed the dark wizards.

"Everyone out!" Erza commanded as the entire dark guild began running for a secret exit. "Follow them!"

As the Fairy Tail team sprinted for the exit, huge boulders started dropping from the collapsing ceiling and breaking open on the ground. Lewis, Lucy and Happy had to dodge the boulders as they raced to catch up to the others, but a gigantic slab of rock fell from the roof, threatening to crush all three of them.

"Waah! Hold me Lucy!" cried Happy.

In a flash of movement, Jason had smashed through the boulder with his fist in a majestic mid air leap before falling limply on top of Lewis.

"All gone… Good night…" a dazed and pain wracked Jason said woozily before falling unconscious.

"Damn it Jason, not now! Any time but now!" Lewis groaned, trying to heave his friend off him.

"Here, let me help!" Lucy said, grabbing his legs as Lewis grabbed Jason's arms and slid himself out from underneath Jason.

"Okay, let's get outta here!" Lewis screamed as more and more rubble started falling.

From below in the village, many looked up at the mountain and saw a great cloud of grey dust fly up from a cavern mouth into the air.

In said cavern in question Natsu, Happy, Gray, Lucy, Erza and Lewis were gasping for air after running such a distance while Jason lay on the ground unconscious.

"Is everyone here?" Erza asked.

"Looks like it." Lucy sighed. "Man, that was a close one."

"Tell me about it." Lewis gulped. "Did all the Vile Masque guys get out okay? I hope they're not dead."

Erza spotted one of the dark wizards who wasn't unconscious and grabbed him by the scruff of his scrawny neck.

"You. Do a head count of your entire guild and report back to me if there are any missing. If there are you are to go back into the rubble and retrieve their bodies. Do I make myself clear?" She instructed.

"Eep! Y-yes ma'am!"

"Whooie, that was some fight!" Natsu laughed.

Lewis looked back on the destruction they caused and gulped loudly. "I wonder how Master Makarov is going to react once he hears we destroyed an entire lacrima mine."

Immediately the mood of the entire party dampened.

"Oh crap." Natsu concluded.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

"You seven did WHAT?!" Makarov gasped, spewing out his ale. "Darn it, that's the last time I drink whenever you walk in! You fools collapsed an entire lacrima mine! The Magic Council is going to have my head for this!"

Lewis visibly shrank before Makarov, despite Lewis being roughly three times Makarov's height, for the moment at least. It really scared him whenever anyone was angry, especially when that anger was directed at him. Jason however was less affected by Makarov's ear bashing.

"I have half a mind to throw you all out of Fairy Tail right this very minute!" Makarov screamed, attracting the attention of most of the guild members.

"Master, please. You know we can't afford to throw them all out of this guild!" Mirajane pleaded. "They're one of our best teams, and who knows what might happen to them if they're not with Fairy Tail!"

Makarov sighed heavily. "You're right Mira. But darn it, could you at least tone down the destruction whenever you take a job?! It seems like the more people you take along with you the more havoc you're likely to cause!"

"We're deeply sorry Master Makarov." Erza apologised profusely. "I hope that destruction of this magnitude won't happen again."

"Darn right it won't! That's because I'm going to lay down a few laws right now!" Makarov said. "First, you two!"

"Huh? Us?" Jason asked, looking at Lewis.

"Yes, you two boys. From now on, you two are not allowed to take any quests involving Natsu, Erza, Gray or Lucy. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes sir!" Lewis said quickly.

"What? Why?" Natsu objected.

"Because I have a terrible feeling that if they hang around you three then they'll pick up bad habits that could lead to the destruction of a civilization or two!" Makarov steamed. "As for the rest of you, you're going back to Pierta to help rebuild the mines you destroyed. Without pay! Dismissed."

As Erza and the others trudged out of the guild hall back to the train station, Lewis sat down heavily on a bench.

"I need a drink…" Lewis mumbled.

"Friggin' Makarov. Now way I'm going to get bossed around." Jason grumbled.

"It's probably a life threateningly bad idea to go against the wishes of one of the Ten Wizard Saints." Lewis said. "Besides, we got off lightly. I think once Natsu and the others get back we should thank them for taking most of the blame."

Just as Lewis calmed down, he saw Makarov walking towards him and Jason.

"Ah, Lewis. Now as I understand it you've picked up a little souvenir from the Pierta lacrima mines." Makarov said.

"Oh, yes I did. In fact I've still got it with me." Lewis said, reaching into his coat pocket and taking out the purple lacrima.

Makarov held out his hand expectantly and Lewis passed the lacrima to him and he studied it closely.

"So this is the work of Vile Masque? Their craftsmanship hasn't faded with the passing of time I see." He remarked. "It just appears to be an energy storage lacrima, used for mages in the military when they need to keep fighting. However these don't appear to be simple rebranding."

"Gray said that Vile Masque were mass producing these in the mines they had taken over. They could have been shipping them to Oni Swords." Jason said.

"Impossible. That Dark Guild was broken up years ago." Makarov snorted.

"Actually, on the very first quest we went on we encountered three members of Oni Swords that claimed to be part of an outpost near Clover that got raided. I think the Magic Council might be trying to keep this under their hat for some reason." Lewis said.

"Wouldn't be the first time they tried something like this." Jason nodded.

"There could be many reasons for that." Makarov agreed. "In any case, I will have a word with the Magic Council. In the meantime, I suggest that you stop using this lacrima."

"Huh? Why?" Lewis asked.

"Well for starters, it's the property of a Dark Guild. Secondly and perhaps more importantly…" Makarov said before unveiling a shelf of blue lacrima crystals. "We have exactly the same kinds of lacrimas with the Fairy Tail guild mark for only ten thousand Jewels! Don't delay, buy three and get one free!"

"Were they there all that time?" Jason wondered.

"But of course, there is one thing that I still must ask you." Makarov said, turning to Jason. "You said you knew of other times the Magic Council has kept things secret. How is that?"

Jason gulped as he tried to think up a convincing lie. "A lot of rumours get leaked out. All we've really heard is hearsay from pubs across Fiore before we arrived in Magnolia but we've heard plenty of instances where this sort of thing happened."

"I see. I won't say it's not true as the Magic Council can be awfully unscrupulous at times." Makarov harrumphed before nodding. "But it may do you boys well not to talk about things you don't know all that much about. Well, carry on you two. And don't get into any more trouble."

"We'll try." Lewis said. When Makarov left, both friends breathed a heavy sigh.

"That was too close."

"Tell me about it."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

A few days later, Jason and Lewis were sitting in the crowded Fairy Tail guild hall. Lewis was pumping magic energy into his Storage Lacrima and Jason was mixing potions when Jason asked a question.

"Hey Lewis, what point on the timeline do you think we're at?"

"I dunno. This is definitely the rebuilt guild hall, so it's after the Phantom Lord attack." Lewis said. "So that means Gajeel should be here, but I haven't seen him anywhere."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Laxus either." Jason said.

"Yeah, good. That guy's a complete tool." Lewis snorted.

"You say that now, but you haven't watched the whole of the anime have you?" Jason asked. "You'll see. If we get back home anyways."

"Yeah. Home…" Lewis trailed off and the two sat in silence for a few minutes, thinking about their families. Then without warning Jason groaned and thumped his fist on the table.

"Damn it, how do I keep making this potion?!" he shouted, holding up an alarmingly bright pink potion up to the light. "I don't even know what it does!"

"Then why don't you test it?" Lewis asked, storing the fully charged lacrima back in his coat pocket.

"Like hell if I'm going to test this freaky pink potion on myself. Why don't you drink it?" Jason asked, holding the potion below Lewis' nose.

"Because it stinks." Lewis said, screwing up his nose. "Besides, your reason was good enough on its own."

"What if I paid you to drink it?" Jason asked, opening his wallet. "Five hundred Jewels?"

"That's like five bucks dude." Lewis said.

"Twenty five thousand?" Jason asked, waving the notes of currency in his hand.

Lewis looked between the money and the potion on the table, a debate raging in his head. "I'm not too sure…"

"Alright, forty thousand. But that's my final offer!" Jason shouted. By this time, a small crowd of curious guild members had gathered around the two as Lewis grabbed the conical flask by the glass neck.

"Alright, fine. But you're paying for my medical bill if I wind up in hospital because of this." Lewis said before standing up and walking into a circle the crowd had made before drinking down the potion which despite its foul smell, had an overpowering artificial strawberry flavour. When Lewis finished, the crowd looked with baited breath while Lewis looked at his body.

"Anything?" Jason asked intently.

Lewis shrugged and passed the vial back to Jason. "I don't feel any different. Guess it was a dud."

Then a bright pink magic circle appeared in front of Lewis' body and he felt his body begin to change. A cloud of bright pink smoke sprang up from nowhere and everyone coughed, swiping at the air in front of them to get the smoke out of their eyes.

"What happened?" coughed Jet.

"Is everyone alright?" Mirajane called.

"Yeah, but what happened to Lewis?" asked Jason.

As the smoke cleared, that question was answered. Lewis was otherwise fine, but there were a few major changes that had happened to him.

"Uh, why is everyone looking at me like that?" Lewis asked, noticing his voice had become much higher pitched. "What the hell?"

Lewis had also noticed the fact that he now was the unwilling owner of two large breasts. Lewis' long blonde hair fell down from underneath her wizard hat to below shoulder height and her features had become much softer, but Jason could still tell that it was Lewis which only served to make it funnier to him.

Jason started giggling uncontrollably. He'd accidentally turned Lewis into a girl! "I need to get a picture of this." He grinned.

Lewis' eyes immediately started burning. "Jason. Fifty thousand Jewels. Now." She growled, holding out her gloved hand.

"Just as soon as I take a photo." Jason said before Lewis punched him in the face.

"Like hell you will!"

"Hey! I'll punch ya right back ya bastard bitch!" Jason shouted back before punching Lewis, sending Lewis flying into the crowd.

"It's not very manly of you to hit a girl like that!" Elfman shouted before leaping into the fray.

"I'm not a girl!" Lewis shouted before slugging Elfman across the jaw.

Soon the entire guild was embroiled in a fistfight. Mira sighed and ducked behind the counter just as an unlucky Troy went sailing over the counter.

"This is pretty bad. I hope Lewis changes back." She said worriedly.

"At least it isn't as bad as that Changeling spell from a while back." Cana said before returning to a flagon of frothing ale.

"Yeah, that was a real doozie. I was really glad that someone found out that we'd return to normal after a few days." Mira sighed.

"Tell me about it. Elfman's a real lightweight when it comes to alcohol." Cana remarked.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been roughly a week since the fiasco with Jason's Sex Change Potion and Lewis had thankfully returned to his normal gender by the end of that particular day. In the end Jason had paid Lewis in full and the two had reconciled. Now they were planning on taking a new quest. The two stood in front of the Request Board, looking for jobs.

"I dunno. None of these really interest me." Jason said.

"There has to be one." Lewis said, peering at the posters. "Though a lot of these look really difficult. It's all monster hunting or fighting gangs of dark wizards."

"Should we just miss out? I mean, we have a few days until we can pay our rent. We could pick up another quest in that time." Jason shrugged.

"It's always better to do things sooner rather than later. Besides, I think I've found one." Lewis said, tearing a poster off the board. "Capturing a monster in a remote village surrounded by a forest? Should be easy enough. And there's a Fifty thousand Jewel reward per wizard! I'm surprised this hasn't been taken yet."

"But can we do that with only the two of us?" Jason asked. "We might need a third member. All the other teams have three members."

"True." Lewis said thoughtfully. "But who? Everyone in Fairy Tail is already a part of a team, and I don't think we're going to have many S-Class mages tagging along in missions with us."

"Were you two going somewhere?" Asked the voice of Happy, hovering behind the two.

"Happy? What are you doing here, and where's Natsu?" Lewis asked.

"He and the others went out on a job together, but I got left behind." Happy said sadly. "That's the last time I eat rotten fish right before a quest."

"You do that regularly?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, we were planning to take the monster capture job." Lewis said. "We just need someone else to come with us, but we don't know who."

"I could help you." Happy said, holding up a paw.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather wait for Natsu? I mean he might come back, not to mention Makarov said we shouldn't work with you guys anymore."

"He didn't say anything about working with me." Happy grinned cheekily. "So can I come or what?"

Lewis looked to Jason who simply folded his arms and nodded.

"Alright, you can come with us." Lewis said.

"Aye!"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Not long after, the two wizards and cat were at the village in question. While the roughly made sign outside the settlement read village, Lewis assumed it meant more pile of rubble with only the wooden framework of tarred logs left standing. The only real building left standing was the town hall. All the villagers around were men covered in bandages and patches and their eyes seemed empty and bewildered, like they still couldn't believe what happened. Jason could certainly see why.

"Man, this place got wrecked." Jason said. "Did Gildarts sneeze or something?"

"I doubt it." Lewis deadpanned. "This place is a total mess. Whatever did this must be big. Either that or there's a lot of them."

The three continued into the village until they located the man in charge sitting in the town hall, a fat man in torn, dirt marred and burnt fine clothes.

"Oh thank heavens you're here!" he blustered. "You two are from Fairy Tail?"

"Three actually." Happy said grumpily.

"Oh! My, what a fascinating creature. Are you here in regards to the monster?" he asked.

"Yes. But first I have to ask you something." Lewis said. "What does this monster look like and, more importantly, what do you intend to do with the monster after we capture it?"

"Ah, to explain that I'll have to tell you of a strange occurrence that happened roughly three days ago." The mayor explained. "Our village was once home to an amazing hunter who would be able to gather huge quantities of meat from the forest to bargain with the traders when they visited our remote little village. Roughly a week ago he came back from his hunting early with a strange wound on his arm."

"This is sounding an awful lot like a werewolf story." Lewis said.

"Far from it thankfully. He said he'd been attacked by some beast, and he certainly had the bite mark to match." The mayor said. "We treated the wound as best we could, but that somehow only made it worse. Two days later he disappeared."

"Probably fled into the forest." Jason assumed.

"Indeed." The mayor nodded solemnly. "That following night many buildings were destroyed. Luckily nobody was too seriously injured, but three women disappeared from the village. We haven't heard from them since."

When the mayor finished, Lewis was looking concerned and Happy was shivering, clutching Lewis' shoulder. Jason however was thinking.

"Did the monster attack any of the men?" Jason asked.

"No, but it did fight off any man who tried to save the three girls. One of the men saw when one of them was abducted that they were put to sleep by some kind of spell the monster cast." The mayor explained.

"A spell casting monster? This is going to be challenging." Jason said.

"But what do you intend to do with the monster once it's caught?" Lewis asked suspiciously. "We've had a few run-ins with Dark Guilds lately, so we're taking a few precautions. We don't want some Dark Guild taming a ravenous beast."

"A Dark Guild in our village? Absolutely not! We've only just learned of a way that may be able to cure him of his bestial transformation, but it will require him to be captured first."

"So what does this monster look like?" Happy asked.

"He's big. Twice as large as a man with bulging muscles and bones. And that was just what he looked like as a man! Since he's only grown stronger and musclier."

"So is there anything else?"

"No, not really other than his skin has turned pink and he has the snout like a wolf, piranha teeth and oddly enough, the ears of a rabbit." The mayor said.

"That is weird." Jason said, mentally putting the picture together. "Sounds like a Vizzerdrix."

"A what?" the mayor asked, greatly surprised.

"A particularly vicious and rare magical creature." Lewis said quickly. "It's important we capture him as soon as possible. If there's anything more you can tell us, be sure to do so."

"Oh, uh… Of course! Thank you Fairy Tail wizards, and be sure to capture him alive! I shudder to think what might happen to him." The mayor finished before hurrying off.

Jason, Lewis and Happy sat in the now empty town hall, pondering what they should do.

"He didn't even tell us the hunter's name." Happy noticed.

"I guess he thought it wasn't important." Jason shrugged. "I sure don't. We just look for a big pink bunny with giant teeth and a foul temper."

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to even locate the Vizzerdrix, let alone capture it?" Lewis asked.

"Simple. It only goes after girls, right?" Jason asked, holding up a heart shaped flask containing a swirling pink potion.

"No." Lewis said simply. "No way in hell am I going through that again."

"Well I'm not turning myself into a girl, and there's no way the mayor's going to allow us to use a girl from the village as bait, so it's our only option." Jason said.

"No way. I won't drink that even if you pay me." Lewis said.

A nasty grin appeared on Jason's face. "What if I forced you to drink it?"

"Then I'd spit it back in your face!" Lewis shouted. "Look, let's just explore our other options before we-"

It was at that moment that Jason uncorked the glass flask and shoved the neck into Lewis' mouth. Lewis stumbled back, gagging on the potion but it was already too late. The pink magic circle appeared and white smoke erupted from Lewis' body and it began to change. When the smoke cleared Lewis had a very angry expression, among other things.

"Wow, you're pretty as a girl." Happy gawked.

"Shut the hell up!" Lewis roared, causing Happy to fly backwards into a wall.

"You're also mean as a girl." Happy cowered.

Jason ran past and grabbed Lewis by the arm and pulled her out of the town hall.

"Come on, we've only got a day until that potion wears off!" Jason said, adjusting his top hat.

"I swear I'll make you pay for this!" Lewis shouted.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The plan was simple. Lewis would wander around in the forest until the Vizzerdrix revealed itself to attack Lewis, then Jason and Happy would capture it by tying it up with strong ropes provided by the villagers. As Lewis stared around, she noticed that a large number of trees had been cut down, leaving behind only stumps. But as she investigated further, she noticed that the grass below the stumps were beaten and compressed, and small chips of freshly cut wood were littered around the stumps.

"That's very curious." Lewis said before doing a double take and sighing. "Darn it, I'll never get used to this new voice."

Lewis heard a branch snap behind her and she whirled around, spell tome open and at the ready. And there the Vizzerdrix was, poised to leap at her and fangs bared.

"It looks exactly like it does on the card." Lewis said with fascination before the Vizzerdrix roared. "Too bad it's real! Jason, help!"

As the beast lunged at Lewis, Jason sped by under the influence of his speed potion and punched the Vizzerdrix right in the jaw, dazing it as it fell to the ground.

"Quickly Happy!" Jason shouted, grabbing a coil of rope off his arm and tying it around the beast's snout.

"Aye sir!" Happy called as he flew around the back feet of the beast, tying them together.

As Jason just got the muzzle on the Vizzerdrix, it leapt up and charged, accidentally knocking Jason onto its back.

"Yeehaw! Giddiyup partner, it's freak show rodeo time!" Jason whooped as he tried to steer the Vizzerdrix into a tree.

Lewis and Happy gave chase, the Vizzerdrix weaving its way through trees until it crashed headlong into a thick and mighty oak, sending Jason flying into the grass. Happy and Lewis franticly tied the beast's strong limbs together, trying to avoid the Vizzerdrix's eviscerating claws. After a few minutes of struggling, they had eventually captured the Vizzerdrix within the confines of strong rope. Jason picked himself up off the ground and walked over to the two.

"Hey that was fun! We should untie it and ride it again!" Jason laughed.

"No. No we should not." Lewis scowled. "We should most definitely keep this abomination tied up."

"Hey, don't talk about that hunter guy like he's some kind of monster!" Happy shouted.

"Wrong. He is a monster." Lewis said. "It's just a thought, but I think that mayor is lying to us."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Jason asked.

"I'll explain once he pays us. I have a feeling he'll do it as soon as we arrive back and try to hurry us off soon after." Lewis said. "Now are you going to help me drag this thing back to that so called village or not?"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The mayor, needless to say, was happy to see they had returned.

"Excellent, excellent! You have him!" the mayor cheered. "Soon we'll have him cured. I'll have some of the others put him in a cage for the time being."

Exactly as he said this, a group of villagers descended and picked up the struggling Vizzerdrix, carrying it out of sight.

"If you don't mind me asking, weren't you the different gender before?" the mayor asked, pointing at Lewis.

"It's a very long story." Lewis grumbled while Jason and Happy snickered.

"Ah well, moving along. Now I suppouse I should pay you for your valiant deeds, yes?" he asked.

"Of course." Lewis said. The mayor then reached into his ruined coat and handed both Jason and Lewis five ten thousand Jewel notes.

"Just a shame we weren't able to find the girls." Jason said.

"Pardon?" The mayor asked.

"The three girls you told us the Vizzerdrix had taken." Jason said, storing the money in his hair before putting his top hat back on.

"Y-yes, truly a shame. I shall have to inform their families about that." The mayor stammered before Lewis coughed.

"Speaking of which, I found something very interesting in the forest while we were hunting for the Vizzerdrix." Lewis said, putting particular emphasis on the last word. "A few tree stumps that look like they were freshly cut. They seem to match nicely with the remains of those ruined houses."

"Well we had to rebuild quickly you see." The mayor said.

"But I am quite curious as to how you got those burn marks on your clothes. There isn't a single scorch mark on this entire village." Jason said, but the mayor had enough.

"Alright, you've made your point! I created that blasted vermin in an effort to make a truly unique beast! I had quite a few failed experiments, but I made sure to burn them. When I created this one I was truly ecstatic, but then it escaped! So I had to call you pathetic legal guild wizards in!" the mayor snarled. "But how, how did you know my true plans?"

"Well it started with the reasons we mentioned." Jason said.

"But the most damning evidence we have is your reaction to the word Vizzerdrix." Lewis grinned. "You see, the Vizzerdrix isn't real at all. It's a monster in a card game."

The mayor gasped before his face turned red, a furious expression on his face.

"So there was a reason this town wasn't on any maps." Happy realised. "It's not a town at all!"

"No, this was a town before I turned its inhabitants into my creations!" the mayor cackled. "They all called me mad, but they could never smear my genius when I turned them into abominations! Oh how they cried, how they groaned and squawked like the animals they were!"

"So these villagers you haven't gotten your mitts on around are all hypnotised?" Jason guessed.

"Yes, so they are kept placid and docile. However at my command they will gladly tear anything limb from limb! Observe." The mayor said before snapping his fat fingers, a dark purple magic circle appearing after he did. "Kill them! Kill the Fairy Tail wizards and their cat!"

The villagers started running towards Lewis, Jason and Happy, but Jason was much quicker as his speed potion was still in effect. In the blink of an eye, all the villagers had been knocked unconscious by Jason's blows, leaving the mayor staring around with wide eyes.

"You'll have to do better than that." Lewis said, readying her tome. "Flameburst!"

A startlingly large spout of flame enveloped the mayor, blackening his clothes and burning the hairs from his skin. The mayor staggered backwards before turning to flee, but Jason blocked his path before knocking him unconscious with a vicious kick to the jaw.

"Well, that's that." Lewis said, putting the tome away and dusting off her hands. Jason giggled slightly and Lewis looked at him with confusion. "What is it?"

"Your boobs jiggle when you do that." He sniggered.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Jason, Lewis and Happy were back at Fairy Tail, but Lewis still hadn't turned back from his gender change which made her very unhappy.

"Aw, cheer up Lewis. I think you look very pretty." Mira said warmly. "You could be on the cover of Sorcerer Weekly if you wanted with that face!"

"That's hardly a comfort." Lewis grumbled before sighing. "There goes any respect I once had."

"Hey, it's not so bad." Jason laughed. "I mean, we got plenty of money from that quest."

"But you turned me into a woman!" Lewis shouted.

"And it was funny!" Jason laughed.

"I'll kill you, you bastard!" Lewis roared.

"Sheesh, you're really aggressive now that you're a girl." Jason said. "Come to think of it, that Flameburst you did was much bigger than normal."

"No way are you going to do this to me on a regular basis." Lewis growled as she sat back down. "I don't care how much of an advantage it gives me, I'm not becoming a different gender just so I can fight better."

"Eh, your loss." Jason shrugged.

"Just how long until this stupid potion wears off again?" Lewis groaned, thumping her head on the bar.

"It should wear off my tomorrow morning, so relax." Jason said, taking another drink.

"Fine. I just hope nothing happens between now and that time." Lewis said. "I never imagined that I'd suddenly be turning into a girl and back any time in my future before we joined Fairy Tail."

Just then, the doors to the guild hall creaked open and Natsu, Erza, Gray and Lucy stepped in. Happy flew over to greet Natsu.

"Hiya Natsu! Sorry I wasn't able to come with you." Happy said sadly.

"Hey, don't sweat it Happy! Just as long as you're okay." Natsu said. "So what did you get up to while I was away?"

"I went on a quest with Jason and Lewis!" Happy said. "We found out the guy who made the request was actually a dark wizard hypnotising people and experimenting on them! Then Lewis drank one of Jason's potions and got turned into a girl!"

"What? No way! I wanna see!" Natsu shouted, rushing over to Lewis and Jason. "Holy cow, you're right! That's hilarious!" Natsu laughed.

"Yeah, yeah. I hope you laugh yourself unconscious." Lewis grumbled.

"Hey Jason, can I try that?" Natsu asked, which made Jason grin expectantly.

"Sure why not?" he said, taking another of the flasks from his bandolier and passing it to Natsu.

"You have more of those?!" Lewis shouted in outrage. "Why?!"

"I have at least two of everything." Jason grinned. "You can never be too careful right?"

"Hey Natsu, can I have some?" Happy asked.

"Sure, it'll be funny!" Natsu laughed as he and Happy drank the potion.

"You knuckleheads are really drinking that stuff?!" Lucy shouted. "You two are complete idiots!"

One burst of white smoke later, Natsu had been turned into a female version of himself. Happy however looked completely unchanged.

"What's wrong? Didn't it work for me?" Happy asked, tears in his eyes. "I thought it was gonna be funny!"

"No it wouldn't!" Lucy shouted.

"Hey, check it out! I've got breasts!" Natsu laughed before being punched in the face by Lucy.

"Cut that out you moron!" Lucy shouted.

Erza meanwhile was staring at Jason with a quiet smouldering anger. That is, if smouldering would be the same word used to describe a bag of burning thermite. Saying nothing, Erza marched up to Jason and took off his top hat, bonked him on the head with a metal gauntlet and dragged him by the collar to Makarov's office.

"I need you to have a word with Master Makarov about this." Erza said as the two were halfway to the stairs.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Later, Lewis and Jason were back at their apartment, the latter sitting cross-legged on his bed with a white bandage wrapped around his afro.

"Stupid Makarov, not letting me make my Sex Change Potion anymore. It was just a joke anyway. An unintentional joke, but a joke nonetheless." Jason grumbled.

"I'm just happy to see you're getting some comeuppance for what you did." Lewis said as she sorted through the mail that had accumulated while they were away. "I can't believe that they have junk mail even in Fiorie."

"Isn't there anything in there?" Jason asked.

"Hold on, there's something that isn't addressed from a company." Lewis said, tossing away the other letters to find a white envelope with neat handwriting on the front. "It looks like it's from Lucy."

"Well open it then." Jason said.

Lewis tore open the letter and read aloud the curved lettering inside. "I'm having dinner at my place tonight and I'd like to invite you two over. Regards, Lucy Heartfilia."

"Free food sounds good!" Jason leapt up off the bed. "Count me in!"

"I'd like it if I was back to my normal gender, but I suppose we can't really rearrange the times." Lewis sighed.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

As the two wizards eventually found Lucy's apartment, they were greeted by an open door leading straight into Lucy's well lit apartment. Lucy herself was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, waiting for them to step inside.

"There you are. So good to see you again." She said. "I see you're still the wrong gender Lewis."

"Don't remind me. But it is good to see you again as well." Lewis said.

"Hey, why isn't there any food?" Jason asked.

It was at that moment that Jason was immediately grabbed from behind by a giant cow man.

"What the hell?!" Lewis shouted. Seconds later Lucy had wrapped her whip around Lewis and dragged her to the floor.

"Okay, so maybe I lured you into a trap, but I've got good reason to." Lucy said.

"You're not the real Lucy?" Jason gasped.

"If she wasn't how would she be using her spirits? Unless her impostor was also a celestial mage, stole Lucy's keys and immediately made pacts with them right before we came over here." Lewis groaned, a face full of floor.

"Lewis, do you remember what you told me about how you knew about Loke when we were at the Vile Masque raid?" Lucy interrogated.

"Yeah, Erza told us!" Lewis groaned, immensely disliking the pain from the whip constraining her chest.

"Well I've been talking to Erza, and that's not what she said." Lucy said. "She said she'd never even mentioned Leo or Loke, let alone the fact that he was a celestial spirit!"

Lewis gulped and Jason looked at her furiously. "Lewis, what the hell did you say?"

"It was an accident I swear!" Lewis panicked.

"Not to mention when we were in the sewers I heard you shouting something about a cannon." Lucy said angrily. "And then there's the thing Happy heard when you were out on a quest with him just today. Somehow you just so happened to know about Gildarts and how he uses Crash Magic."

"That's not hard, I mean he is Fairy Tail's Ace." Jason said uncomfortably.

"Whatever. The point is you lied to me and somehow knew something that nobody you said was involved told you about. In fact, I double checked to see if Leo hadn't heard of you before, and guess what? He hasn't! So spill the beans boys, or else!" Lucy shouted.

"Or what?" Jason shouted.

"Or I'll get Erza to do the interrogation! So what's your game here? Are you assassins? Spies? Wizards infiltrating us from a Dark Guild?"

"What is this, a war crime tribunal?" Lewis shouted.

"I'll make it that if I can get some answers out of you!" Lucy shouted.

"Alright, alright! Just quit tugging on the whip!" Lewis pleaded, gritting her teeth.

"Good." Lucy said. "Now start from the beginning."

"Well to start with we're from a different dimension." Lewis said before being cut off by Lucy.

"Erza already told me about that little story. I have no idea how Master Makarov believed that obvious lie!"

"We're not making this up, we really are from a different dimension." Jason said.

"What, like Edolas? I hate to break it to ya but Edolas has magic. You said you were from a world without magic!"

"We are! We're just not from Edolas!" Lewis said. "I don't know what our dimension is called, but it's got squat in the way of magic. What it does have is technology."

"Techno-what now?" Lucy asked.

"Basically machines run on electricity and oil instead of magic energy." Jason explained.

"What, like lightning?" Lucy asked before shaking her head. "Never mind, what's this got to do with anything?"

"Well we were sitting in a library when suddenly this book with the Fairy Tail guild symbol drops on the table out of nowhere and we read one of the spells inside like a bunch of complete idiots. Then we run into Erza." Lewis said.

"That explains absolutely nothing." Lucy scowled before tugging on the whip. "So I'll ask again. How do you know Leo?"

"It's because… It's because…" Lewis repeated, trying to think of a convincing lie, but he couldn't find anything. "It's because in our universe your universe is a work of fiction!"

Lucy stopped pulling and looked at Lewis like she was a complete idiot.

"Huh?"

"It's true." Jason sighed. "You're imaginary."

"No I'm not!" Lucy huffed. "Listen, I don't know how stupid you think I am, but that's not going to work!"

"You want more proof? Okay, fine." Lewis said exasperatedly. "The show is called Fairy Tail. It follows the adventures of Natsu Dragneel, raised by a fire dragon named Igneel who suddenly disappeared leaving Natsu to fend for himself, Happy the Cat, a native to Edolas that somehow arrived as an egg in this world, Gray Fullbuster, an Ice mage who's teacher sacrificed herself to save a town from the demon known as Deloria, Erza Scarlet, who was abducted as a child and forced to work to create the Tower of Heaven, later claimed by her childhood friend Jellal Fernandes, and finally Lucy Heartfilia. Jason, you want to take this one?"

"No, keep going. It's more fun this way." Jason said.

"Fine. As I was saying, born to a wealthy family, she left her oppressive father after the passing of her mother, cutting herself off from the family fortune before becoming a fully-fledged mage whereupon she meets Natsu Dragneel and Happy investigating the hilariously incorrect rumours of Igneel being located in the port town of Hargeon which is incidentally the place where she bought the Canis Minor gate key. After Natsu saves her from abduction at the hands of Bora and his band of pirates, Natsu invites Lucy to join Fairy Tail." Lewis finished. "That a big enough info dump for you?"

"Gotta say, you sound like you read that straight off the wiki." Jason said.

"A lot of things stick with me for some reason." Lewis groaned.

Lucy gaped at Lewis before dropping the whip she held.

"How… how do you know all this?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I have a lot of spare time." Lewis shrugged, untangling himself from the whip. "And yes, in our universe at least, this universe is fictional."

"That's… That's really disturbing." Lucy said before shuddering. "Do they see… everything?"

"Thankfully not. While I'm sure plenty of people would like to see you in your private time that privilege has been denied to them. Usually just when things go wrong, funny or interesting events or whenever Natsu is being an idiot." Lewis said before a burst of white smoke filled the room. "Hey, I'm back to normal!"

"About time." Taurus said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you could talk." Jason said.

"But still, that's a little overwhelming." Lucy said, sitting on her bed. "I would never imagine that something this big would happen."

"Well I'm just glad the universe hasn't decided to fold in on itself yet." Lewis said, dusting himself off. "I was afraid some cataclysmic event would occur if something like this happened. I guess this isn't really connected to the main story anyway."

"What?" Jason shouted. "Oh no. I should have seen the signs. Stupid beginning, lampshading everywhere, an absurd amount of people just willing to go with it? Not cannon?"

"Wait, you're not saying that we're…" Lewis said.

"Yes. We're in an OVA!" Jason cried. "A Fairy Tail OVA! The worst kind!"

"I was about to say terrible Fan Fiction, but whatever." Lewis shrugged.

"OVA? What does that stand for?"

"I… don't know." Lewis scratched his head.

"That's a first." Lucy said.

"Can I go now? I'm missing the after party." Taurus said. "I'm already half blitzed, I'd better finish the job."

"Okay." Lucy said as Taurus vanished into golden light, letting Jason drop to the ground. "This is just too much for me."

"I think we should just keep this under our hats." Lewis said. "Nobody else really needs to know, right?"

Lucy looked up at Lewis and smiled slightly. "Right."

As the two wizards were about to leave, Lewis poked his head back through the door.

"Oh, and by the way! You're voted the second most popular female in the series, so congratulations!" Lewis called.

"Really?" Lucy asked, eyes lighting up. "Who's the first?"

"Who do you think? It's Erza of course!" Jason shouted before dragging Lewis off and slamming the door shut.

Lucy slumped down and started to sulk. "It's always Erza, isn't it?"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

"You sir, are a complete fuckhead." Jason said.

"Hey, you're no better." Lewis spat.

"Are you crazy?! Why did you tell her that?" Jason asked. "You could have at least made some shit up!"

"She believes us! It's better that she thinks we're what we really are instead of freaky assassins or spies! Not to mention that if that were to happen we'd have to say it in front of everyone in Fairy Tail, maybe the Magic Council if we're unlucky." Lewis argued.

"You have a point, but did you have to tell her so much? What if she tells the others?" Jason questioned.

"Trust me, if that happened we'd have Erza breaking down the door right now demanding an explanation." Lewis said, indicating to the fact that their door was not as of yet turned into a pile of splinters and kindling. "Besides, if she told anyone else this they'd think she was the crazy one. We could just deny everything."

"Another good point." Jason said, mulling it over. "Fine. But if we have a mob coming after us because of you, I'm going to shove a chopstick up your ass sideways."

"You always were fond of crass references weren't you?" Lewis asked. "Now get some sleep. We have a lot of hard things to do in the morning."

"Hah! Gaaaaay!"


	5. Chapter 5

It was a perfectly normal day in the Fairy Tail guild hall. Music, laughter and the occasional fight between Natsu and Gray were abundant in every corner of the guild. Lewis and Jason were right in the thick of it, enjoying the merriment and relaxing.

"Are you sure we shouldn't take any more jobs?" Lewis asked. "We could use the spare money."

"Nah. I just want to relax. I mean we had that freaking interrogation about a week ago, and we had at least three jobs this week so I just want some down time to experiment with my potions."

"Fair enough." Lewis shrugged before holding up his wooden flagon. "It's kind of annoying how we can't really get anything to drink. I mean everyone else around here has some form of beer but all we get is water. The beverage doesn't really fit the container does it?"

"I can see your point." Jason said. "But do you really want to get plastered? Around these guys?"

"You make an excellent point." Lewis said, taking another drink. As soon as he did, he noticed that the water had gotten slightly colder than last time.

"Hey Lewis, I need to talk to you." Gray said as he walked up to the pair, thankfully in full clothing. "One of your spells is Ice Make, correct?"

"Well yeah. Did you need me for something?" Lewis asked, putting down his flagon.

"I want to show you how you might be able to improve it. From when I last saw you fighting it seemed to be the weakest of your spells." Gray explained. "Normally the Ice Make: Arrow spell fires of a whole bunch of ice arrows, but you only fire one big one."

"I think I see where this is going." Lewis said. "Alright, show me how it's done."

As Lewis and Gray left, Jason found himself slightly annoyed that he had been left behind.

"Hey! I'm the one who's supposed to leave Lewis behind!" Jason said to himself. "That bastard. Oh well, I'll just get into some shenanigans of my own. He he, shenanigans."

Jason thought for a while, but couldn't really come up with any ideas as to what he might do that didn't involve throwing Lewis off some high place, usually into a large body of water and laughing at him as he swam to shore. So he just shrugged and returned to making his potions. Just as he was about to complete another bright yellow resilience potion, he remembered something. Something in one of the Fairy Tail OVAs he watched. Then that gave him an idea. A truly terrible, hilarious idea.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

After Gray had showed Lewis how to improve his magic, he tried to find Jason back in the guild hall. But to Lewis' confusion he wasn't there at all! So he decided to check out the apartment. Nothing. Lewis started to wander the entire town of Magnolia, looking for Jason. Eventually the sun dipped low in the sky, turning the entire sky above a vibrant orange colour.

"Well if he isn't at the apartment now he's probably been kidnapped." Lewis decided as he headed back to the apartment.

When he arrived Jason was standing in the middle of the room, a strange glass spray bottle in hand filled with a transparent blue potion.

"Where were you all this time?" Lewis asked as he closed the door behind him.

"Making this. Does it smell like chloroform to you?" Jason grinned before spraying the potion into Lewis' face. Lewis immediately jerked backwards, covering his mouth. But it was too late. Lewis began to feel woozy and eventually collapsed to the floor.

Jason grinned and started laughing deeply while tapping his fingertips together.

"Time for part two…"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis woke up in a cramped dark spot. Immediately when he sat up, he smacked his head on the close wooden roof.

"God damn it that hurts!" Lewis cried. As the pain went away, he noticed where he was. He was lying in what looked like a crawlspace for an attic or something, barely big enough for him to turn around in. "Jason hit me with some kind of sleeping potion? This is some major bullshit. When I get my freaking hands on him I'll-"

Lewis was interrupted by a sudden and terrible thought. Looking down he noticed that, to his great relief, Jason had kept his promise to Makarov to never make the Sex Change Potion ever again. Nodding in satisfaction, he noticed that an envelope was lying on his stomach. Tearing it open, he started to read the letter inside.

'Dear Lewis.

I got bored. So this is what I came up with. You are currently located in Fairy Hills, Fairy Tail's female dormitory if you haven't seen the OVA. It's also pretty close to night time, so you can guarantee that there's a lot of very dangerous women around that if they catch you, thanks to the glorious gods of comedic timing and stupidity, will think that you're peeping on them. Hope you can get out of there safely!

Jason.

P.S:

I know what you're thinking. I can just wait until everyone's asleep right? Well I'm betting that you'll smash your head on the roof like an idiot when you wake up, make a hell of a lot of noise and then they'll come looking for you. Start running!'

"Jason you absolute bastard." Lewis swore before hearing something underneath him. The sound of running water. Turning over, he saw through a small hole in a floorboard that he was directly over the female baths, which were all empty. "This isn't good."

Lewis started crawling for all his worth towards the small door that exited the crawlspace. As he opened it, the small metal door made an unbearably loud creaking sound that echoed through the hallways.

"Well if they didn't hear my shouting, they certainly heard that." Lewis grumbled before moving out of the crawlspace and out of the attic.

When he was finally able to stand again, he found himself in a large and richly decorated hallway. It was also alarmingly well lit, and Lewis could hear voices coming from one end of the hallway. Lewis quickly bolted to the other end of the hallway, his boots thudding softly against the red carpet. As soon as he found himself at an intersection, he saw a fully armoured Erza walking away with her back turned to him. Lewis skidded to a halt and quickly dashed down the other direction.

'I swear if I get out of this unharmed I'm going to kill Jason!' Lewis screamed internally, clutching the brim of his hat as he ran through the corridor.

Lewis gasped with relief when he spied an open window. He could use Aera magic to escape undetected! As he reached for his book, he found that his satchel was completely empty! Instead he found a small note in the satchel.

'I had to borrow your book. I'll give it back when you get back to the apartment.

-Jason'

"Seriously?!" Lewis shouted before clutching a hand over his mouth.

"What was that?"

As soon as the dreaded words were said, Lewis immediately started panicking. Looking left and right, he saw only large decorative vases lining the walls. Doors started banging open and Lewis dived into one of the vases. He heard footsteps congregate around where he had shouted, voices of various female mages discussing what they had heard.

"Juvia heard something strange." Said the blue haired water mage. Lewis didn't trust her. He made it a personal rule never to trust anyone who spoke in third person.

"It sounded like someone shouting." Bisca said.

"More than that, it sounded like a man shouting." Erza agreed. Lewis was pleased that Erza had acknowledged that he was not just a mere boy, but that was counteracted by sitting scared stiff in the bottom of a large decorative vase. "He sounded young and foolish. He may be trying to peep on us."

Lewis then immediately started sulking when Erza called him foolish.

"Should we look for him?" asked Laki, who Lewis remembered was that weird Wood Make mage.

"Of course. But what to do when we find him?" pondered Evergreen, who Lewis undoubtedly thought was the scariest of all of them. "I personally would like a new statue in my collection, but I'm not sure where I might put it."

"Enough!" Erza stated. "We should find this perpetrator and throw him out of Fairy Hills."

"How about we make this interesting? First person to find him and capture him gets all the beer they want at the bar?" Cana asked.

'Cana lives here? Oh boy, who else?' Lewis thought.

"No, I think there should be a better prize." Mirajane said.

'Of course.' Lewis slumped into the vase.

"How about the first person to capture this perpetrator forces them to take a job with them, without them getting paid?" Laki suggested to an overall sound of approval.

"Juvia so hopes it is Gray that's trying to peep on us." Juvia gushed. Lewis had almost forgotten how obsessed with Gray Juvia was.

"Right. Let's split up." Erza said.

As soon as everyone left, Lewis poked his head out of the vase to see if they were all gone. Satisfied with the empty hallway, he climbed out of the vase and assessed the situation.

"Okay, I've got no magic, they're actively searching for me, and I only have a basic knowledge of the layout of this place… It's safe to say I'm boned." Lewis sobbed. "I'd better just turn myself in now and get the beating over with."

But then Lewis was greeted with the mental image of Jason laughing his ass off when Lewis returned to the apartment, battered and bruised and above all, too tired and weak to do anything about it.

"Okay, maybe not." Lewis said to himself. "I'm getting out of here undetected even if it kills me."

So Lewis began slinking around the corners, using all of his cunning to attempt to evade detection. He had a few close calls with corners and he narrowly avoided an encounter with Juvia, but he was convinced that nobody had spotted him. Just as he darted through an empty hallway, Lewis felt something wrap itself around one of his boots.

"Oh hell." Was all he managed to say before he was whipped up into the rafters, dangling by a rope trap, his brown wizard hat fallen to the ground.

"Like I always say, the best way to catch something is to lay a trap for it." Bisca said, stepping out from behind a large potted plant and picking up Lewis' hat. "Now listen here you, I don't know what you think you're doing here, but you're definitely not going unpunished for it."

"Well I can think of worse people to capture me." Lewis sighed.

Just as he said this however, a large block of fluffy white text reading SNOW was sent hurtling through the air and into Bisca, knocking Lewis' hat out of her hands and sending her hurtling into a wall. Lewis caught the hat and looked to his saviour, Levy.

"What the? What's your name… Lewis isn't it? What are you doing here?" Levy asked.

"Oh you know, just hanging around." Lewis said.

"Very funny. What are you trying to pull here mister?" Levy asked.

"Hey, back off! I found him first!" Bisca shouted, digging herself out of the snowdrift.

As the two mages started fighting, Lewis started struggling to untie himself from the rope trap. Somehow he did, and not a moment too soon because from where he landed, both Bisca and Levy were too busy fighting to notice, allowing him to sprint through an empty corridor to safety.

Or so he thought.

As Lewis rounded a corner, he collided with Juvia. But instead of knocking her to the ground like any normal person Lewis passed right through her water body and after shuddering and looking behind him at a very surprised looking Juvia, kept running like the devil himself was at his heels. Lewis didn't even bother turning around when he heard the sound of a rushing flood of water washing through the corridor after him.

"Come back here! Juvia wants to know what you were doing with Gray!"

"That's why she wants me dead?!"

Lewis started running faster than he felt he ever had in his life, but it seemed life was giving him no favours, because who would step around the corner but Titania Erza.

"Help me!" Lewis screamed as he ran from the flooding water, Erza's eyes widening in shock as well.

Soon both of them were running from the floodwater, although Erza seemed to have returned to a neutral expression. Erza reached over and picked Lewis up, holding him by the stomach under her arm.

"Boy am I glad to see you." Lewis breathed a sigh of relief.

"You have a lot of explaining to do. Did Jason put you up to this?" Erza demanded.

"Funny you should mention that." Lewis said before Erza was sent flying back into the flood of water by a shot from Bisca, who was wielding a magical shotgun. Unfortunately it seemed Lewis still had a great amount of momentum, which caused him to sail through the air straight past Bisca and sprawling onto the soft carpet quite a distance away. When he looked ahead of him Lewis felt a stone drop in his stomach.

"Stone Eyes." Said Evergreen, activating her terrifying magic.

Lewis immediately shoved his large hat over his eyes, thanking his impeccable taste in headwear. Unfortunately this had the minor side effect of completely blinding him, so when he had to start running again, he blindly ran into a wall, grinding his body along it as he ran down the corridor.

"Hey Evergreen! Quit trying to turn him to stone!" shouted Levy as something undoubtedly very heavy went rushing straight past Lewis' ear.

"That's far from sporting isn't it?" Laki asked before Lewis felt something wooden trip him up, sending him sprawling to the floor again.

Lewis eventually lifted his hat up to see what was going on before spying a completely deserted corridor just to his left. Sprinting for the empty corridor, he jumped over low tripwires set up by Bisca as well as wooden beams that sprouted suddenly from the ground. As Lewis ran down the hallway, he saw Mirajane just standing in the centre of the adjoining hallway.

"Hi there Lewis! I didn't expect to see you here." Mirajane said with her permanently cheery tone.

"Uh… It's nice to see you as well Mira, but I really need to get past." Lewis said quickly, franticly checking behind him.

"Well I hope this is a lesson to you. I understand that boys your age have needs, but surely there's a better way to-"

"I'm not peeping damn it!" Lewis shouted, flustered.

"There he is! You're coming on a quest with me little man, and you're going to carry all my booze for me!" Cana shouted as she sent several multi-coloured cards at Lewis past Mira.

Lewis shrieked and ducked as the cards sailed over his head towards his pursuers. As the various magical effects hit the mages behind him, Lewis turned from Mira and Cana's shocked expressions to see something he always wanted in this situation.

A perfectly clear path.

Taking this golden opportunity, Lewis bolted the other way over the prone bodies of the somewhat dazed Fairy Tail wizards. As Lewis sprinted around as fast as he could, he finally stopped himself and ducked into a room with an open door before slamming it shut.

Lewis pinned himself to the inside wall before looking around the room he found himself in. Sitting on the bed was a white fluffy cat with a very surprised expression and a cute little girl with blue hair standing in the middle of the room.

"Wait a minute, don't I know you from somewhere?" She asked.

"I'm from Fairy Tail." Lewis said quickly, displaying his guild mark. "And I really need your help."

Wendy stood there for a moment, confused as to what to do. Lewis was then struck with the sudden memory that Wendy Marvell just happened to be in possession of Sky Dragon Slayer Magic. Needless to say, if Lewis' gamble on her innocence backfired he might just be blown out of Fairy Hills, Team Rocket style.

"Okay." She said.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

The entirety of Fairy Hill's residents was stalking the corridors, spells at the ready.

"Can you hear him?"

"I'm sure he went this way."

"Be quiet, he'll hear us!"

Suddenly Wendy poked her head around the corner and whistled loudly.

"He's over this way! Come on!" She shouted, waving to the others.

As the mages thundered past, Lewis poked his head out of Wendy's room. As he started running down one corridor, Carla grabbed his hand and tugged him down a different one.

"You men really have no sense of direction do you?" she asked.

"Well I've never been here before." Lewis grumbled.

"At least research the place you're peeping in." she said indignantly.

"Oh for the love of… For the last time, I'm not trying to do that! I'm not a pervert." Lewis said. "It's a little more complicated than what you might imagine."

"Well what are you doing here? It seems hardly likely that there is any other reason." Carla said as she led Lewis down a flight of stairs.

"Is it really so inconceivable that a guy my age would have any ideas other than perving on women?" Lewis asked. "I mean sure, I have needs but there's a time and place for everything."

"You still haven't told me how you got here." Carla said impatiently.

"My best guess is that my friend Jason wanted to pull some kind of prank on me. To do that he used some kind of sleeping potion and somehow managed to sneak into Fairy Hills, put my unconscious body in the crawlspace and then sneak out again. He did invent that invisibility potion when we were going up to clear out Vile Masque." Lewis thought aloud just as they entered the lobby.

"And why would he want to do that?"

"I dunno. Jason's just kinda an asshole I guess." Lewis shrugged.

"Typical male." Snorted Carla before she pushed open the door. "Alright now get out of here. I'm sure that they must've found out Wendy was helping you and now they might get here at any moment."

"Right. Thanks a lot Carla. And tell Wendy I said thank you as well." Lewis said, tipping his hat to the cat.

"Hmph. Just go."

As Lewis ran from Fairy Hills, he had only one single thought in his mind.

How to get back at Jason.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Jason was sitting in the apartment, waiting for Lewis to arrive back. He glanced at the magical clock hanging over the wall just as it ticked over ten PM.

"Man, I don't think he's ever coming back." Jason said.

A few seconds after Jason said this, the door to the apartment creaked gently open, and in walked a smugly smirking Lewis.

"Hey, you're back." Jason grinned. "So how was getting beat up by Erza and the others?"

"Oh I didn't get beaten up." Lewis said, still smirking as he lay down on his bed.

Jason was mildly confused as to the lack of obvious outburst. "What, no screaming? Shouting? You're not even going to try and hit me?"

"No, I think I'll leave that to Erza." Lewis said, Jason's blood immediately running cold.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"On my way back, I had a lot of time to think. Without that spell tome in my possession you're faster, stronger and all around a much better fighter than I am. So why bother fighting a futile battle when I can just get someone much stronger than me to do the fighting for me?"

"You cheeky son of a bitch." Jason said.

"It's no use running. Erza is probably on her way here right now. It was a bad idea sending me to Fairy Hills Jason. A really, really bad idea." Lewis grinned.

"But you're probably going to get beaten up with me." Jason pointed out.

Lewis' eyes widened as he realised the flaw in his plan. "You want to run?"

"Oh yeah."

"Let's run."

Jason tossed Lewis' tome back to him as the two wizards bolted for the door, but it was too late. The flimsy wooden door exploded into splinters as Erza burst through the door with her fists, one of them striking directly into Jason's surprised face. Lewis turned and leapt for the window, Aera magic ready to go. But Levy was much faster with her Solid Script magic, sending a splatter of glue straight at Lewis' feet, sticking them in place outside the windowsill and causing him to fall directly into the side of the building.

The other furious mages resident to Fairy Hills, with the addition of a nervously shaking Wendy, stood outside the tiny apartment most of them seething with anger.

"You two boys are in a lot of trouble." Erza said.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis and Jason weren't in such great condition. Both were covered in bandages, casts and the occasional splint.

"That was a very stupid thing you two boys did. You don't just go gallivanting around the Girls Dormitory!" Makarov had snapped. "Believe me, I've tried."

"Perverted old man." Jason snorted.

"It's not like I had any say in it." Lewis argued.

"I don't want to hear any of it! Though it looks to me like the others have punished you enough, so I'll let this one slide. But do it again and there will be some very serious consequences!" Makarov shouted before going back up to his office.

"Well, at least everyone thinks you're a pervert now." Jason chuckled.

"I swear if I could move my arms I would strangle you." Lewis grumbled.

At that moment, Natsu decided to drop into the conversation. "Hey guys, what's up? You look like you got torn to shreds on a quest or something."

"Not really a quest." Lewis spat.

"But torn to shreds was pretty accurate." Jason nodded.

"Well it's as I say about bandages, you ain't a hero unless you've got lots of 'em!" Natsu laughed.

"I don't really think we're hero material." Lewis said.

"What? Come on, don't put yourself down like that." Natsu said. "You guys managed to put up a fight against me and Gray, even Erza! That's not something a lot of guys can do."

"Are you kidding? We got beaten in a second once Gray joined the fight." Jason said. "And we never stood a chance against Erza to begin with."

"There's a huge gap in power between us Natsu. I hate to say it, but you're just much better at fighting than we are. You've got a lifetime more experience anyway." Lewis said.

"Well then I guess there's only one thing for it." Natsu said. "You guys are gonna have to train much harder if you wanna beat me!"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

After that fiasco, Jason and Lewis somehow managed to make good with the residents of Fairy Hills when they recovered. The two were now standing where they usually were, in front of the Request Board trying to find a job.

"You know, I've been thinking about something." Jason said. "Maybe we should look for a permanent third member. I mean there's gotta be someone in Fairy Tail without a team."

"Maybe, but that means we'd have to take tougher jobs just to get the same amount of money since we'd have to split it three ways." Lewis said.

"You're getting pretty obsessed with money aren't you?" Jason said.

"No I'm not!" Lewis scowled. "Money is nice to have and all, but it shouldn't be the driving force of a man's lifestyle."

"The kid's wise beyond his years." Commented Elfman as he walked by.

"Why does he keep doing that?" Jason whispered.

"I dunno. I guess he just always hears it whenever somebody says 'man' or 'manly'." Lewis guessed before spotting a poster. "Might be a medical condition.

"What's that?" Jason asked as Lewis tore off the poster.

"Investigate rumours of a Dark Guild camping out near a small village called Pineta." Lewis read aloud. "Engage only if attacked by the guild. Eighteen hundred thousand Jewel reward!"

"Seems alright. We'll take it." Jason nodded.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

A day after Lewis and Jason left for Pineta, Erza was looking at the S-Class Request Board searching for a quest to take. She then noticed something interesting. Taking the quest off the board, she marched down the stairs to find Mirajane.

"Hi Erza. Interested in taking that job?" she asked.

"Actually, I was wondering if this was a job that changed. I swear I'd seen it before on the normal request board." Erza said, holding up the poster.

Mira looked at the poster before nodding. "Yes it was. Before the job was changed Lewis and Jason took it. When Natsu heard he sent Happy to go tell them. It takes a few days to actually get to Pineta, so hopefully they're still travelling there."

"But what made the job change?" Erza demanded.

"The town that posted the request was taken over by the Dark Guild rumoured to be located near there." Mira said gravely. "In actuality it was two guilds. Oni Swords and Vile Masque."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis and Jason stood outside the gate to the heavily fortified looking town, shaking in their boots.

"Jason." Lewis said, taking out his tome. "This is very, very bad."

"No arguments here." Jason gulped.

Around the town was a giant stone wall, hundreds of metres high and at least twenty metres wide. The village itself was situated in the middle of a giant pine forest, hence its name of Pineta. On either side of the titanic wooden gate was two freshly painted guild symbols. In red, Oni Swords. In purple, Vile Masque. Atop the wall there seemed to be hundreds of dark wizards, all of whom had spotted Lewis and Jason.

"We have to run." Lewis said as they turned, only to face a group of three wizards, each wielding a red stained katana.

"Where do you think you're going?" asked one in grey tattered clothing and long black hair, resting the katana on his shoulder.

"You little vermin aren't going to go running to the Magic Council about this. Not on our watch." A woman with short purple hair and a long flowing robe.

"Can we hurry up and kill 'em already?" Asked a hugely muscled looking wizard, stroking the blade of his katana with battle scarred fingers.

"The master ordered us to capture anyone we find alive. Those cowards in Vile Masque want to auction them off as slaves or sell them for ransom." The woman spat. "We must never disobey the master."

"Let's get on with it." The grey clothed one said, swinging his katana around.

"So I'm guessing you three are the S-Class mages of Oni Swords?" Lewis asked, taking his sword from the pages of his book.

"Yes, we are Oni Swords' best mages, given the title of Demon Blade." The woman said.

"You guys seem to like devils and swords." Jason said, taking out a potion.

"Every member of Oni Swords has been trained in Requip magic. We are not cowards who use our spells at a distance." The scarred man snarled. "We have no fear. That is what makes us strong!"

Lewis and Jason looked to each other and nodded.

"I don't think we can take these guys." Jason said.

"Leg it?" Lewis asked, flipping to his Aera magic.

"Leg it." Jason said, quickly drinking a completely transparent potion.

As soon as both spells activated Jason, who was now completely invisible, dropped to the floor and Lewis soared into the sky, silver shortsword still in hand.

The brute of a man simply roared in frustration while the woman closed her eyes, seemingly in a trance as she shifted into a stiff combat stance. The grey clad one tensed his muscles before leaping skyward, straight up towards Lewis in a rush of wind!

"What the?!" Lewis exclaimed as the red stained blade sailed past him, coming alarmingly close to severing his wing. "Wind Magic? I thought you said you used Requip!"

"We do not exclusively use Requip. Doing so would be narrow minded and foolish. You must know this since you use multiple forms of magic, do you not?" The man said in his grim tone, adjusting his grip on the blade. "I have been using Wind Magic ever since I was given my title and codename. I am Daten-shi, and you will fall by my blade, you and your mockery of angelic glory."

Down on the ground, Jason was attempting to crawl along the ground past the two S-Class mages. The purple haired woman opened her eyes and stabbed at the ground, narrowly avoiding Jason!

"I can see you, fool." The woman snarled, kicking Jason in the jaw and sending his invisible body sprawling into the dirt. "I can see everything. That is why the master named me Di Aquila."

"That's totally bullshit." Jason grunted before fleeing into the forest.

"I can see you, and I will catch you coward!" the woman shouted before running after Jason.

Meanwhile the third Demon Blade sat in the dirt, grumbling to himself.

"Oh sure, leave me behind. Just because I don't have any other magic they think I'm not useful. Well I can kick all their asses with both legs tied together." He grumbled. "If only they'd stop using those damn gimmicks of theirs."

Above the forest, Lewis was locked in combat with Daten-shi, his blood red blade clashing with Lewis' polished silver shortsword.

"Your strikes are weak, your blade unstained. Have you even killed a man with that toy you hold?" Daten-shi spat, forcing open Lewis' guard.

Lewis flew above Daten-shi and assessed the situation. He couldn't use any other spells or he would fall to his doom. He couldn't escape or his pursuer would catch up in an instant and cut him down. He couldn't fight him either because his sword skills were underdeveloped to say the least.

"When will you cease running?" Asked Daten-shi, his wind magic disrupting Lewis' wing beats as he soared up towards him, red blade mid swing. Lewis braced for the strike and tried to parry it, but Daten-shi flew just a little higher and elbowed Lewis in the face, dazing him and sending him hurtling to the ground.

Lewis was just about to collide with the trees when he got his Aera magic back under control and he soared above the treetops, short sword still in hand.

"Damn it! I just hope Jason's doing better than I am." Lewis said, checking over his shoulder for Daten-shi.

Jason was hiding in the canopy of the pine forest, waiting for Di Aquila to pass underneath. When she did, Jason dropped down with fists at the ready. But Di whirled around and slashed at Jason, cutting into his shoulder with her red stained blade. Jason cried out as blood dripped from his shoulder, revealing himself.

"Did you not listen when I told you I see all?" she asked, knocking Jason to the ground with a kick. Jason tried to get up, but Di stabbed her blade into the dirt beside Jason's neck. "Move and my blade will make itself known to you once more. I have orders to take you alive, but nowhere does my master say I have to let you be unharmed."

Above the forest Lewis was trying to fend off the attacks of Daten-shi, but to no avail. Every block and parry faltered, every strike missed and every counter was turned against Lewis. Lewis swung down vertically with his sword, but Daten-shi caught his arm and spun Lewis around, restraining his wings and putting him in a chokehold.

"How can you call yourself a mage when all you do is run? You should not own a blade such as that if you cannot even use it well." Daten-shi hissed before Lewis finally lost consciousness.

As the three Demon Blades regrouped, Happy watched silently from behind a tree as Jason and Lewis were taken into the town, the titanic gate slamming shut with a dull thud behind them.

"This is really bad." He whispered to himself before flying at full speed back to Fairy Tail. "I've gotta tell the others!"


	6. Chapter 6

Lewis and Jason awoke in a small dank dungeon cell, their magic tools taken from them as they sat in chains, wondering just what the hell was going on.

"Any idea why we're just in regular shackles?" Lewis asked suddenly as a thought struck him. "I mean, aren't there special magic sealing ones that were used in the Tower of Heaven?"

"I guess just because we use Holder Type magic and they took our stuff, we couldn't do squat." Jason sighed, leaning back on a clammy stone brick wall. "And they're right. Now we're just back to being normal and boring."

"But there is one consolation to us getting kidnapped." Lewis said.

"What?" Jason asked.

"You remember what happened to Phantom Lord when Lucy got kidnapped?" Lewis asked. "They tore down the entirety of the freaking guild, and Makarov pretty much destroyed everything that was left with his Fairy Law. And that was just if one member went missing. I think it's safe to say this is the last we'll be hearing of Oni Swords and Vile Masque."

"I see where you're going." Jason said before tipping forward his top hat. "But you've forgotten something. There's no guarantee that they'll notice we're gone. I mean, they'll think we're just out on a mission right now and it'll take time for them to catch on and get here. A lot could happen in that time and this damn shoulder wound of mine isn't doing me any favours."

"Hey, I patched it up as best as I could." Lewis said before sighing. "But you are right. I just hope that nothing happens between now and then."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

When Happy arrived back at Fairy Tail bearing the news, everyone was up in arms. Erza began rallying a rescue party so far encompassing almost the entire guild. That is, until Makarov intervened.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" he demanded.

"Master, we have to rescue our guild members!" Erza shouted. "Lewis and Jason have been captured!"

"I am well aware of that, however you are overlooking something important!" Makarov shouted. "This is the combined efforts of Vile Masque and Oni Swords we're dealing with, not some introverted Dark Guild! This will require the efforts of a number of guilds, or the Magic Council at the very least!"

"We can't just sit here and do nothing!" Gray exclaimed.

"I never said I'd forbid you from doing anything, did I?" Makarov asked. "I'm going to get several other guilds on the line to see if we can't form an alliance to eliminate this threat. Vile Masque and Oni Swords appears to have taken over the heavily fortified town of Pineta, so we'll require a great force. Now do I have any volunteers for the main strike force?"

A resounding cheer went up from the guild hall before Makarov rounded up Erza, Natsu, Gray, Lucy and Happy.

"Now look here. I need you five to become a special group." Makarov explained. "All I need for you to do is to break into the back of the town while the main force is storming the town gate and locate our missing members."

"Juvia would like to join the Special Force." Said the blue haired water mage as she appeared from seemingly nowhere.

"What? Why?" Gray asked.

"You mean it's not entirely obvious?" Natsu snorted.

"Ugh. Gray, your shirt's gone again." Lucy groaned.

"Why would you tell Gray that?!" Juvia objected.

"So what is your reasoning?" Makarov asked.

"Juvia feels remorseful for attempting to destroy Lewis when she didn't know the whole story. Juvia feels that if she helps liberate Lewis and Jason that may be resolved."

"Eh, sure why not." Makarov said before turning to the entire group. "Now here's the basic plan. Find our two missing wizards and find their tools. Then escort them out through the front gate since the way you came in will probably be covered up again. Now I'm going to contact our other guilds and see if they can't lend any assistance."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*V*

It had been a few days, and Lewis and Jason's moods hadn't improved since waking up in the dungeons for the first time. They were bored, trapped, and all their stuff had been taken from them. One good thing was that their captors didn't even bother to post guards at the door, so they were pretty much free to talk about whatever they wanted.

"This is lame." Jason said.

"Yup." Lewis grunted.

"Wanna try escaping?" Jason asked.

"How? Our hands are tied." Lewis said.

"Just wishful thinking." Jason huffed before kicking a cobblestone. "Man this sucks! I can't believe we had to run into three freaking S-Class mages!"

"I know, but that's pretty much the way things like this go, right?" Lewis sighed. "By the way, wasn't it awfully convenient that they told us their names except for that scarred looking one?"

"Guess they figured we wouldn't live long enough to tell anyone." Jason said.

"But did you notice that their names reflected their abilities?" Lewis asked.

"Yes actually. I'm not an idiot." Jason said. "That chick had absurdly good vision. She was able to see me while I was invisible."

"Might be something like Clairvoyance Magic. Like the ability to see details that would normally be invisible to the human eye, or seeing weaknesses in an opponent." Lewis hummed. "The guy I went up against used Wind Magic. You know, like Erebor."

"Erigor." Jason corrected. "Looks like you don't know everything."

"Minor mistake." Lewis grumbled.

At that point the door burst in and a woman gripping an empty heart shaped flask tightly in her hand stormed in before pointing accusingly at Lewis.

"You! This is your freaky magic isn't it?!" she roared.

"No, that's Jason. He does the potions around here." Lewis said surprised at this woman's outburst.

"Hey, it's not my fault you drank it." Jason spat back.

It took Lewis a little while to figure out what was going on before it eventually clicked. "Jason, didn't Makarov tell you to stop making that potion?" Lewis asked.

"Yeah, but it's really hard not to make it accidentally. I figured I could keep just a few spares kicking around." Jason said slyly.

"How many do you have then?" Lewis asked.

"Fifteen bottles in a crate in our apartment." Jason shrugged. "When I make my strength potion there's a chance if I don't add enough gritroot it'll turn into a Sex Change Potion. It's a pretty miniscule amount too, so I can't help it if I get it wrong. Besides, I'm not just gonna throw it away. That'd be really wasteful of expensive ingredients."

"I don't care about that! Just change me back you bastard!" roared the woman.

"You'll change back in about twelve hours." Jason said. "Now get lost, you're really noisy."

The woman's furious face turned even angrier by Jason's nonchalant attitude and she heaved Jason up to his feet. "I don't have time for that! You're gonna make me a cure, or else!"

Jason swiftly hooked his leg around his attacker's and tripped her up before pushing her over, sending her slamming onto her back and cracking her head on the damp grey cobblestones. Jason quickly searched over her body for the keys and unlocked his shackles.

"Hey, nice. Where'd you learn to do that?" Lewis asked as Jason unlocked his shackles.

"Didn't I tell you that I have three years of Tae-Kwon-Do training?" Jason asked.

"No, I don't think that ever came up in conversation." Lewis said, rubbing his wrists.

"Well now you know." Jason said. "I just hope the rest of these losers didn't drink my potions."

"I'm just hoping they didn't hide my spell tome in a library or something." Lewis spat.

"Come on then, we're getting out of here!" Jason said, bolting for the open jail door.

"Hang on, we'd better tie our unwitting liberator up first. We don't want her alerting the guards, right?" Lewis asked, picking up all four pairs of shackles.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

At approximately the same time, the gate of Pineta was being stormed by an allied force of Fairy Tail, Blue Pegasus and Lamia Scale. Spells of all different kinds flew through the air as mages clashed in the clamour of battle. Around the other side of the heavily fortified town, a small group of six made their way carefully over a lightly guarded wall, making sure not to be seen by the sparse guards.

"I still don't get why we can't just run through and punch 'em in the face." Natsu said as he slinked through a corridor behind Erza and Lucy, with Happy, Gray and Juvia behind him.

"Because if they heard that a small group broke in from behind them, the enemy would assume that we were all S-Class mages. The force they'd send to halt our advance would be massive." Erza said. "Either that or they would send their own S-Class mages to attack us while we had Lewis and Jason with us."

"You can probably tell how well that'd turn out." Gray said.

"I think you might be giving them too little credit." Lucy said cautiously. "I'm sure those two might be able to take care of themselves if given the opportunity."

"Uh oh, Lucy's in love again!" Happy sniggered.

"C'mere you stupid cat!" Lucy almost exploded before Erza clamped an iron clad hand around Lucy's mouth.

"Be quiet Lucy." She commanded.

Lucy nodded rapidly, not wanting to incur Erza's wrath or get them spotted by the enemy mages.

"We should be close to the prison now." Erza said, peeking around a corner.

As the group descended further into the prison, Natsu could hear running footstep coming from further down the hallway. At the next corner, he ran to the front and put a finger up to his lips. As the footsteps got closer and louder, Natsu stuck his arm out from around the corner to clothesline one of them.

Lewis' face then immediately collided with Natsu's arm and was sent skidding across the stone floor. Natsu and the others gaped in surprise and Jason turned around the corner after Lewis.

"Hey guys!" Jason said cheerfully. "Man are we glad to see you."

"Did you get the licence plate of the freight train that just hit me?" Lewis burbled as he got up.

Lucy slapped Natsu over the back of the head, her expression furious. "Natsu, what the hell was that for?!"

"Ow! Hey, it wasn't like I knew it was them alright?" Natsu said.

"He's right." Gray said. "You two okay? Fairy Tail has gone through a lot of trouble trying to liberate you two, but it looks like you're giving it a shot yourself."

"Really? So that's why there aren't any guards around." Lewis said as he joined the group. "Anyway, we still need your help."

"What's wrong?" Erza asked.

"Our equipment was taken from us and we don't know where it went." Jason said, scratching his afro. "It's a real pain. I mean first they take it and then one of those damn wizards drinks one of my potions."

"What?" Lucy gasped. "You mean there's a super powered wizard running around here?"

"Well… Not really." Jason said, scratching his afro. "We took care of hi-her. I was going to say her."

"After that wizard drank Jason's potion she burst into our cell demanding for me to change her back even though it was Jason's magic that did it in the first place. Jason here knocked her out and stole the key she happened to have and unlocked our shackles. It's just one bit of good luck after another for us I guess." Lewis reported.

"We could ask this person where your equipment is." Juvia suggested.

Lewis and Jason looked at each other before Lewis facepalmed and Jason sighed heavily.

"I don't know why we didn't think of that."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Back in the cell, Erza was interrogating the woman. Afterwards, they were heading towards the storage room where their equipment was held.

"Lewis, I must ask you something regarding your methods for restraining that woman." Erza asked.

"Shoot." Lewis said.

"Why did you find it necessary to use four pairs of shackles?" she asked.

"I wanted it to be secure. Didn't want anyone coming after us when we didn't have any method of defending ourselves." Lewis said.

"Speak for yourself." Jason snorted.

"I see. But there was surely no reason to stuff her shoe into her mouth." Erza criticized.

"Actually, that was Jason." Lewis said. "He said something about her snoring and how it'd be funny."

"That's because it was funny!" Jason cackled. "The idiot had a shoe in her mouth! What an idiot!"

"Besides, she was kind of mean to us." Lewis shrugged.

"Is that why you hung her upside down from the jail bars with the key planted in a crack in the flagstones just out of her reach?" Erza asked.

"Okay, that was just to appease my sadistic side." Lewis said. "I could have done a lot worse."

"I'm sure you could have." Erza said.

"Can we just leave this conversation at that?" Lucy pleaded.

"Of course." Erza said.

Looking ahead, the group could see the storage room. Sorting through the items stored there, Lewis found his lacrima and Jason found his bandolier filled with potions. But as he looked around, he found a pair of brass knuckles and a strange pen with a golden glowing tip. Slipping them into his pocket, he went back to foraging in the storage room.

"Jason, what are you doing?" Erza asked. "Those brass knuckles don't belong to you!"

"Yes, but chances are they didn't belong to the criminal who used them before I picked them up." Jason said, looking around the storage room.

"Hey Erza, check it out! I found something!" Natsu shouted, holding up a very large broadsword. "It's got fire engraved on it!"

"That's enough Natsu." Erza said, taking the sword by the blade and snapping it in half before tossing the two pieces over her shoulders, almost hitting Lucy who shrieked and dived out of the way.

"Hey, watch it!" Lucy objected.

Gray and Natsu started looking around the storage room, looking in numerous crates to find glowing purple spherical lacrimas. "Hey, it's more of these things." Natsu said.

"I guess they had other places they could get 'em." Gray said. "I'm going to freeze these crates over. You should stand back Natsu."

As Gray began encasing the boxes of lacrimas in thick blocks of ice, Lewis was looking around with Jason and finally found his tome.

"Finally, there you are!" Lewis sighed with relief as he grabbed the book, but it felt heavier. Flipping it open, he found that there were a few new spells! "There's some kind of Water and Earth magic here now! Gravalanche and Riverwrath. Man, what is up with these names?"

"I dunno, but they sound kind of cool." Jason shrugged. "Alright, have we taken everything that isn't nailed down?"

"I think that's what you two have been doing." Gray said.

"Now let's go." Erza said. "I pray the others at the gate have been faring well."

As the group started moving again, they were soon running through the town towards the front gate. They had just entered a courtyard when Gray noticed something.

"Hey, what's that?" Gray asked, pointing to the top of a tower.

"My worst fears confirmed." Lewis whimpered as the three shapes dropped down from the rooftops in front of them. "It's those S-Class Mages again."

The three aforementioned mages leapt down from their perch and landed on the opposite side of the courtyard.

"You shouldn't have bothered to escape." Spat Daten-shi, blood red sword already unsheathed.

"Our master told us to keep an eye on you in case you rats escaped." Di Aquila said, clutching her sword hilt with a delicate hand.

"So now I'm gonna rip you to shreds!" roared the third, waving his sword in the air.

"Who are these guys?" Lucy whimpered.

Erza narrowed her eyes and requipped a broadsword into her hands. "These are the elite members of Oni Swords, the three Demon Blades."

"S-Class mages huh? Piece of cake!" Natsu grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"Wait Natsu, even one of these mages will be too challenging on your own." Erza said. "Instead I want you to take Jason and Lucy and get out of here. Gray, you do the same with Juvia and Lewis. I'll hold them off as long as I can."

"Juvia swears to protect you with her life Gray!" Juvia rejoiced.

"What about me?" Lewis asked, trying to stop his scared shivering.

"Stupid woman! You don't think we can't split up either? I'll show you! You two weaklings take care of the others!" The big man scoffed before charging at Erza on all fours, tackling her and sending her through a brick wall.

"That man is the definition of uncultured." Di Aquila spat before drawing her sword.

Daten-shi said nothing but instead shifted into a fighting position.

Gray grabbed a hold of Juvia and Lewis' arms and started to run, tugging them along with him. "Come on, let's go!" he shouted.

"Gray's got the right idea!" Natsu shouted, signalling for Jason to follow him. "Come on! Happy, carry Lucy!"

"Aye sir!" Happy shouted before carrying Lucy into the sky.

Daten-shi sighed before activating his wind magic. "I'll kill her."

Two crystalline arrows soared towards Daten-shi, who whipped around and slashed both of them in two with his sword. Lewis snapped his book shut, gloved hand still outstretched.

"You won't lay a finger on her. Your battle is with me, coward." Lewis scowled.

Daten-shi looked at Lewis with a slight glance of disbelief before cracking the faintest of grins. "Coward? I have not been called that in many years." He mused before turning around. "Fine then. I will entertain your last wish to fight me. But know if I win, I will only leave you mortally wounded. Then I will kill the girl before returning her corpse to you before finishing you off for good."

Lewis grimaced as he drew his silver blade from the book, but Gray and Juvia stepped in front of him.

"What, did your IQ drop by fifty points when you were in that cell? You're almost as reckless as Natsu." Gray scoffed.

"Gray is right. Juvia will not let any harm fall to friends of my Gray." Juvia said.

"Besides, this guy is an S-Class mage. You'd never be able to beat him on your own in a million years." Gray said.

Lewis looked between Gray and Juvia and nodded. "Alright. Guess I kind of lost my cool there huh?"

"Does this mean you like Lucy?" Juvia asked.

"Well… Sure. But I mean that in the sense that she's a nice girl but I don't like her in any romantic sense." Lewis grumbled uncomfortably. He never liked questions about his relationships with anyone, especially fictional characters. "But we've got more pressing matters at the moment."

"Agreed." Gray said, immediately taking his shirt off. "Let's do this."

"Right." Lewis said, flipping over his pages to his new spells.

"Juvia will protect you Gray." Juvia said, parts of her liquid body elongating and turning transparent.

Daten-shi narrowed his eyes and levelled his sword. "Fools. All of you."

Di Aquila looked at the four escaping mages with disdain before turning to Daten-shi. "I will pursue the others. Do not disappoint the master, Daten-shi." She said before sprinting after Jason, Natsu, Lucy and Happy.

Gray was the first to attack, sending a volley of thousands of sharp icicles towards Daten-shi who simply blasted them away with a barrier of violent wind. Lewis covered his eyes as the shattered ice clattered against the flagstones and Lewis' coat.

"Such pitiful magic will never penetrate my armour vortex." Daten-shi snorted. "Every one of your attacks will be deflected as if they were just leaves in the wind."

Lewis felt his hand grow heavy as he tried to use his Gravalanche spell, the blue magic circle from the book and the brown one rotating around his silver shortsword, causing the silver blade to reflect a dark shade of brown. Lewis lifted his sword above his head before burying it in the ground, causing a great split to appear in the earth and an eruption of tiny granite stones to spring violently from the crevice. Daten-shi simply sidestepped the crack and ignored the hail of small granite rocks as his wind barrier sent them skittering across the ground, his eyes focused on Lewis.

"An interesting spell, but your magic is far too weak and predictable for it to have any effect on me." Daten-shi said as he raised his sword up and his barrier faded. "Now die."

With blinding speed, Daten-shi sailed towards Lewis, who was about to leap out of the way, but it appeared he was not fast enough. Juvia grasped his arm before swinging him around, using his dangling legs as a cudgel to slam into Daten-shi's unprotected back. As Lewis' feet found firm ground once more, he thanked Juvia as Daten-shi got to his feet, seemingly unfazed.

"Hmph. You're lucky your friend was more attentive than you, foolish boy." Daten-shi said before spreading his arms wide. "What a shame you won't be able to rely on them for much longer."

A great gust of wind shot forth from Daten-shi's outstretched hands and Gray had to cover his face with his arm while an unprepared Juvia dissolved into a fine mist.

"Juvia!" Gray shouted as the wind died down.

"I am alright Gray." Reassured Juvia. "Though it may take Juvia a while to collect herself again, Juvia will try to aid you in any way she can."

"Good to know she's okay." Lewis said before turning his attention to Daten-shi who was walking calmly towards him.

"Time to test your sword skills once again, boy." Daten-shi said, raising his blade to strike.

Gray then ran towards Daten-shi wielding a sword of crysal ice and sliced upwards, only for his strike to be expertly countered by Daten-shi. Lewis took this opportunity and slashed at Daten-shi who knocked the sharp blade away with his free hand.

"You have no experience with that blade, do you?" he spat. "I will never allow such a blade to cut me, nor its owner to harm me."

"You'd better pay more attention rather than going on a monologue!" Gray shouted, delivering a punch to Daten-shi's face. As he fell backwards in surprise, Lewis caught him before lifting him above his head and slamming Daten-shi's head into the flagstones beneath them.

Lewis visibly shuddered at the noisy crack that filled the air, but when Daten-shi fell to the ground, he realised that it wasn't his skull that had been broken. Rather, it was the slab of solid rock underneath that had been split in two!

"You shouldn't have done that." Daten-shi growled as he stood up, sword still in hand.

Lewis gulped as he started flipping madly through his spell book, trying to find a useful spell. Eventually his eyes settled on Riverwrath, and he got an idea.

"Gray, I need you to distract Daten-shi for a little bit." Lewis said, holding a blue magic circle out in front of him.

"Right." Gray nodded, visible cold leaking from his hands. "Ice Make: Knuckle!"

Daten-shi dodged out of the way of Gray's ice fists before attempting to retaliate with a vicious sword slash, but a wall of thick ice sprang up at the last second, trapping the blade in the cold.

"You're not as powerful as you think, are you?" Gray taunted, another spell warming up in his hands.

Daten-shi said nothing but instead withdrew his sharp katana from the ice wall and turned his attention to Lewis, who was almost finished with the spell. As Daten-shi dashed towards Lewis, Gray slammed his hands to the ground.

"Ice Make: Floor!"

Gray's ice floor spread quickly, but not quite fast enough. Lewis tried to dodge away from the flashing blood red blade, but Daten-shi slammed the hilt of the blade into Lewis' chest causing him to double over.

"Do you see now? You will never be able to defeat me." Daten-shi spat.

"Maybe not alone." Lewis spat, the deep blue magic circle in his gloved hand shining bright as he held it up towards Daten-shi. "Riverwrath!"

In a flash of movement and a gust of wind, Daten-shi flew gracefully out of the way of the flood of rushing water that exploded from Lewis' hand. As water started pooling around, Juvia's head appeared from the water.

"Juvia has returned." She said as he body began to form again. Lewis grinned as he saw that his plan worked. But then Juvia kept collecting water.

Juvia started to grow taller and more muscular the more water she soaked up, eventually dwarfing the three mages below her. She stood at least half the height of the buildings surrounding her and she stared down at Daten-shi, eyes glowing menacingly.

"You tried to hurt my Gray!" she hissed before raising her gargantuan fists. "Juvia smash!"

Daten-shi dodged around Juvia's fists as they smashed into the ground where he once stood, shattering the flagstones beneath. The red sword flashed as Daten-shi sliced clean through Juvia's arm at the elbow, dissolving the severed limb into water. The arm regrew almost immediately, but Juvia shrunk slightly as she turned her attention to Daten-shi's new location.

Lewis and Gray looked on in surprise as Daten-shi and Juvia fought.

"I didn't expect this to happen." Lewis stared.

"I didn't even know she could do that." Gray said.

"Do you think we could just let her do the rest?" Lewis asked.

"That's probably not a good idea." Gray said.

Daten-shi scowled before he held aloft his hands, a large grey magic circle erupting from his hands. "Enough of this!" he shouted before a giant tornado sprung from the ground, blowing away Juvia and Gray while trapping Lewis inside the eye of the storm with Daten-shi.

"This is where you will die." Daten-shi scowled, pointing his red katana towards Lewis. "Raise your sword boy, so that you may at least avoid a coward's death."

Lewis grimaced as he looked behind him at the impenetrable barrier of wind, but when he turned back to Daten-shi, a great pain erupted from his gut. Lewis' sword started slipping from his grip as he looked down at his stomach to see the bloody red katana jutting from his gut.

Lewis found he couldn't say anything that didn't come out as a strangled gurgle as he slumped forward, a hand clutching to Daten-shi's shoulder for support.

"Now do you see? You would never be able to defeat me." Daten-shi said emotionlessly.

Lewis' vision started pulsating, fading in and out of black. But then something unexpected happened. Red started seeping into Lewis' vision and his teeth began to grind together, his hand suddenly gripping the silver swortsword so hard a blood vessel in his hand burst as he swung upwards with a loud yell, causing Daten-shi to jump backwards, drawing the katana out of Lewis' gut.

But Lewis wasn't falling. Something had snapped in his mind, as his grinding teeth, bloodshot eyes and blatant disregard for life threatening injuries.

"You made me bleed! Why would you do that?!" he screeched before charging at Daten-shi, brown boots clattering against the ruined cobblestones as he unleashed a string of unfathomable curses.

Daten-shi scowled and cast a wave of wind magic towards Lewis, but Lewis stepped around it in his frenzy to get to Daten-shi, trailing a thick stream of blood with each step.

'This is not the same boy I faced.' Daten-shi thought interestedly as Lewis raised his shortsword and brought it down with a wild screech, the blade clanging loudly against the red katana.

"Fool. You honestly don't think you-" Daten-shi began before being interrupted by Lewis' frenzied screaming before he poured blood into his hand and threw it in Daten-shi's face, blinding him.

Lewis slashed horizontally across Daten-shi's chest, cutting deep into the flesh. Lewis kept trying to attack, but Daten-shi kept his guard up even while blinded.

"Enough of this!" Daten-shi shouted, creating a new cyclone barrier around Lewis before raising the katana high above his head. "Now die!"

Daten-shi slashed through the cyclone, dispelling it immediately only to find his raging quarry not there! Looking up urgently, he saw the heavily bleeding form of Lewis drop from the sky, boot halfway through its savage arc. It was far too late to dodge.

"Aera Drop Kick!"

Lewis' boot heel impacted with the crown of Daten-shi's skull, slamming him into the already destroyed cobblestone and creating a minor shockwave that blew out the winds of the cyclone, allowing Gray and Juvia to see at least a moment of what was happening.

"Did he win?" Gray wondered.

"Lewis appears to be wounded. We need to get him to a doctor." Juvia noted.

As the cyclone faded, Lewis finally came back to his senses, looking at his hands that were sticky with his own blood. The black circles began to appear around his eyes again and he fell sideways, collapsing onto the hard, unforgiving stone.

"Lewis!" Gray and Juvia shouted as they ran towards him, but Daten-shi began to stand up, his face now a mask of absolute fury.

"Boy, you have disgraced me, one of the Demon Blades of Oni Swords! I'm going to-"

He wasn't allowed to continue this monologue by Erza, who appeared at one of the entrances to the courtyard, a large warhammer in her hand and a nervous looking young girl with short orange hair at her side.

"You will do nothing to that boy." Erza scowled, absurdly sized hammer in hand. "Turn yourself in Daten-shi!"

"Never!" he spat. "You scum think that you can defeat me?! I'll tear every-"

Once again, Daten-shi was interrupted. This time by Gray beating him over the head with a large sheet of ice. The white haired Dark Wizard fell to the ground, finally unconscious.

"Erza, Lewis is in a bad way. He's out cold and bleeding heavily." Gray said quickly. "If something isn't done fast then I don't think he'll make it back to Fairy Tail alive."

Erza examined Lewis' injuries and nodded gravely. "I see. Gray, patch him up as best as you can. We have to locate the others and get out of here. There's no telling if they'll be in this state either."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

"You'll not get away from me." Di Aquila scowled as she pursued Jason, Natsu, Happy and Lucy.

Jason ran closer to Natsu as Di Aquila ran behind them, Happy and Lucy sailing above them in the air.

"Damn it, can't we fight her?" Jason shouted.

"We're just getting somewhere she can't escape!" Natsu replied before charging towards a tower. "This looks like a good place!"

As Jason ran after Natsu, Happy and Lucy looked from above.

"Where are those two idiots going?" Lucy panicked. "They won't be able to escape if they go in there!"

"Yeah, but neither can that lady." Happy said darkly.

As Natsu and Jason rushed into the tall stone tower that rose from the ground and Di Aquila followed them inside. Jason, who was hiding behind the thick wooden door, slammed it shut behind Aquila before running over to Natsu's side and slipping on his new brass knuckles.

"You idiots, you've sealed your fate by locking me in here with you." She spat, drawing her sword.

"We'll just see about that." Jason smirked as he lifted a red flask from his bandolier. The second it touched his lips, a sharp throwing knife in the shape of a feather ripped through the air and through Jason's glass bottle, shattering it and sending its contents tumbling to the stone floor.

"Fool, I can see everything." Di Aquila said, eyes glowing with faded yellow magic circles. "I can even see into your mind."

"Ugh, not another one." Natsu groaned, winding up his arm. "Look, even though you can see into our minds, it's not like you're gonna be able to stop us beating you to a pulp!"

Aquila's lips tugged themselves into a thin mocking smile as she drew her sword. "You're more than welcome to try."

Natsu's hands were soon engulfed in fire as he charged towards Di Aquila, huge gouts of flame being turned away by the red katana or avoided altogether. And every time Jason attempted to pick a potion from his bandolier, another steel feather shattered the glass bottle.

"God fucking damn it!" Jason shouted in anger as his fifth potion splattered against the floor. Jason pulled the offending feather knife from the wall behind him and tossing it at Di Aquila. Di whipped her head around and saw the flying dagger and leant out of the way of it, the blade just slicing through a lock of her long hair.

Di Aquila turned to face Jason, her face marred by a look of pure rage.

"I'll kill you for that!" she roared, flinging a barrage of knives at Jason, who dodged them all by the skin of his teeth. Natsu charged Di Aquila, landing several fire charged blows into her body.

"Finally." Jason groaned, pulling out another potion. But as soon as he did a steel dagger ploughed straight through the glass vial. "Seriously?! Fucking hell! Where do you keep those things?!"

Di Aquila was too busy fighting with Natsu, trying to deliver a decisive blow. Natsu skilfully moved out of the way of the slashes, but his clothing started to gain a small collection of tears and cuts in the fabric.

Di Aquila eventually grew weary of simply hacking away at Natsu and drew out another two daggers with her free hand before tossing them at Natsu's shoulders, pinning his shirt to the wall behind him.

"You're mine!" Aquila shouted, sword already in mid swing when the roof of the tower began to cave in before exploding into rubble, a giant cow man dropping from the ceiling armed with a battleaxe almost as large as he was.

"Moooo!"

Thick bricks of stone were shattered as the axe was planted firmly between Natsu and Di Aquila, the latter of which had already leapt backwards to avoid the attack.

Lucy looked down the hole from above the tower and called down to the others. "Hey, are you two bozos alright?"

"Yeah! We're fine Lucy!" Natsu shouted back.

"Heh heh. I can see your panties." Jason chuckled to himslef.

It seemed Jason underestimated the keenness of Lucy's hearing as moments later she repurposed Happy into an air to ground ballistic missile. Happy collided with Jason, knocking him to the ground.

"Don't look at my panties you pervert!" roared Lucy.

As Jason got up, Di Aquila saw her chance and charged towards him, sword at the ready. Both Taurus and Natsu were there in seconds to intervene, both axe and fire hurtling through the air towards her.

As Jason got up, he found that he only had one potion left in his bandolier. "Good thing I'd been saving that one." He said as he took it out of his bandolier.

"Oh no you don't!" Di Aquila shouted, taking out another feather blade only for her vision to be obscured by Taurus and his axe standing in the way of the blade.

As Jason finished chugging down his potion, he tossed the glass bottle to the ground as he felt energy surge to all corners of his body.

"Limit Break Elixir!"

Di Aquila saw Jason charge around her in a circle, occasionally moving close to strike a blow with his fists. But Di Aquila was able to block some strikes with the blade of her sword, confused as to why the blade was doing nothing to her opponent's flesh.

Natsu and Taurus stepped backwards and watched the hyper-fast Jason run around Di Aquila, occasionally striking at her with Di Aquila gradually losing ground. Then Jason's running circle widened and he started running around the walls of the tower before stopping for just a moment and leaping off, straight at Di Aquila who raised her red blade to defend herself.

With a loud clang and a snap, the red blade broke clean in two with Jason's punch striking Di Aquila in the jaw, sending her slamming to the ground.

Jason stood up to full height and nodded before turning to Natsu, a big grin on his face.

"Well that was fun." He beamed.

"Didn't really put up much of a fight though." Natsu sighed. "Oh well. We should probably regroup with the others."

"Hey Happy, can you come back up here? I can't get down my myself." Lucy called from the top of the tower.

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

After Fairy Tail and their allied finally broke through the gate, they swarmed the rest of the town and secured it, only to find the leaders of the Oni Swords and Vile Masque guilds to be absent. Erza, Lucy, Happy, Natsu, Gray, Juvia, Lewis, Jason and the mysterious new girl had all regrouped at the base camp, none of them in great shape. Especially not Lewis who Gray, to prevent him bleeding to death, had him sealed in a large diamond shaped block of ice, effectively putting him in cryogenic coma.

"I'm not sure how much longer this stasis is going to last." Gray said. "We need to get him to a doctor. We might have to get Wendy to heal him if it gets any worse."

"What the hell happened to him?" Jason asked, brushing away frost on the clear ice to see the deep wound in Lewis' gut. "That's not good."

"I have no idea what happened to him when he was fighting Daten-shi, but he seemed to just freak out and become incredibly violent. I don't think I even understood a third of what he was screaming." Gray said. "But when the cyclone cleared he actually managed to put a pretty decent scratch on him. Even though it wasn't enough to keep him down for long."

"Guess he really can't stand the sight of his own blood." Lucy said.

Meanwhile, Jason was practically giddy at the sheer quantity of puns he could make.

"I guess he just needed to CHILL." He smirked.

"Jason."

"Wow, I've never seen Lewis this FROSTY before!"

"Jason."

"It looks like he's giving everyone the COLD SHOULDER."

"Jason, Lewis almost died! Enough with the puns!" Lucy shouted.

"Just one more?" he pleaded.

"No." Erza stated flatly, determined to keep the situation at least somewhat serious. "We can't waste any more time. We need to get Lewis back to Fairy Tail to heal him."

"Darn it, if only I had my pen…" grumbled the girl that had joined them. "Figures. I find some incredibly powerful magical item and it dumps me in a jail cell with a tied up guy with a boot in his mouth before vanishing."

Jason fumbled around in his pockets before taking out the strange black bodied fountain pen with the glowing tip and held it out to the girl. "You mean this one?"

The girl looked between Jason and the pen before snatching it up and taking a notebook from out of her bag before pausing and turning to the others.

"You might want to stand back. The last time I did this I tried summoning a lion. It would have mauled me if it didn't get beaten down by the wizard guy that gave this thing to me." She said. Most of the group took a large step back, with Jason hiding behind Lewis' frozen form like a shield.

As the girl started scribbling down on her notebook, the golden coloured font began to float away from the page before settling in the air in front of them, eventually taking the form of a floating wooden door. When the girl opened the door it revealed the interior of the Fairy Tail bar, much to the surprise and interest of all the wizards that had gathered.

Except Lewis. He was still frozen like a mammoth in a glacier.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" she asked, waving towards the door. "Nobody? Didn't think so."

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Lewis' eyes began to finally blink open, absorbing the painful light that streamed through the windows of Fairy Tail's sick bay. Sitting up, he saw that Jason and a new girl were sitting beside his bed.

"Hey man, feeling better?" Jason asked.

"I got fucking stabbed through the fucking chest. With a fucking katana. Fuck." Lewis said, obviously unhappy with the whole situation. "I'm never going to live this down."

"Yeah, you're better now. And also, we have a new party member!" Jason cheered, making jazz hands towards the girl. "This is Katie and she's now the third member of our team!"

"It's nice to meet you." Lewis said. "I'm Lewis and this is Jason. He's the meat shield and I'm the guy who doesn't want to fight. You can be the healer."

"Are you kidding me? Screw that, I'm just here because Makarov told me to." Katie said crossing one leg over the other, showing off the purple guild mark imprinted on her calf. "He said this was the only team that needed an extra member. And no way am I gonna be the healer when I have the powers of an O.P version of the Death Note at my disposal."

"Well it's actually more of a Death Pen if we're being technical." Jason said, leaning back on the chair.

Katie's eyes widened as she realised what Jason had said. "Wait, you're not supposed to know what that is. You're natives to Earthland aren't you?"

"Nope. We got here via magical book lighting teleport thing." Lewis said. "It's a little complicated."

"Seriously? Wow, what a coincidence." Katie said. "It's like a bad fanfiction or something."

"I know right?" Jason said.

"Hey, you thought this was an OVA." Lewis pointed out.

"Whatever. So, are you guys working on a way to get out of Earthland and back to the Real World?" Katie asked. "'Cause if you've got a plan I'm coming with you."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we've got nada." Lewis said, leaning back onto a stack of pillows. "So we're gonna work for Fairy Tail until we find a way to get back home, making ends meet."

"That and hanging out with mah waifus." Jason grinned. "Say Lewis, who's your waifu?"

"What? I don't have one. Never was one for anime crushes." Lewis said, trying to get off the topic as quickly as possible.

"Come on… It's Lucy isn't it?" Jason teased.

"Is not! Now drop it!"

Instead, Jason laughed harder and kept going. "Watch out, Lewis is evolving into a tsundere! You want me to get you a pink potion to help with that?"

"I swear I'm gonna kill you!" Lewis roared.

Katie watched the madness unfolding and held her head in her hand.

"I have a feeling I'm gonna get along great with you guys. Also, pink potion?"

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

In the following weeks, a great multitude of events had occurred. Lewis returned to full strength, a naïve Katie learned the effects of the mysterious pink potion first hand, Katie moved into Fairy Hills after Lewis botched an attempt at asking her to move in with them, Lewis found Jason in the bathroom checking himself out (as a girl) then promptly needing to be somewhere far, far away when an unaware female Jason began to take her shirt off.

Also, Katie warmed up to the two after the three found a job where they were ambushed by angry monsters where they found that they were on somewhat equal skill level. It was at that point that they created their own team name.

And so the team known as "The Offworlders", since Jasons suggestion of "Interplanetary Galactic Defenders" had been rejected, began its long and illustrious career languishing near the bottom of Fairy Tail's leaderboards that people would inevitably create.

However, all of that slowly began to change on one fateful, and mood setting-ly foggy, night…

*v*v*v*

*v*v*v*

Hey everybody! Lewis here, or as I may be better known as, The Snazzy Hat. Just writing to thank everybody who stuck with this story so far and to tell you some important news.

As of chapters 7-12 my friend Jason, also known as YamiNoNeko (Link to his page here: ) will be taking the reins of writing this story. Symptoms may include a different style of writing, shifting focus or possibly death. If any of these occur, please consult your doctor as Wannabe Wizards may not be right for you.

Signing off (for now),

-The Snazzy Hat


End file.
